Dear Canadians,

Last week I shared my concerns about the influx of illegal Canadians and shared some things we could do to prevent it. In the spirit of American Free Trade I felt it now my responsilbity to share the response I received from an actual Canadian... typing in English!

Well, I was sitting on the chesterfield, knitting a tuque and watching the Tim Horton's Brier on the CBC (Darn! Nova Scotia only took 3rd!), and I decided to take a break and check out your blog.
If you don't mind, I have taken issue with some of your points, eh?
1. The Canadians can move with lightening speed through the snow, usually up to 125 kph on a ski-doo.
2. Beavers don't stay on leashes well. They have a tendency to chew through most things.
3. You would think that shopping in hockey gear would be easy. It's not. It's hard to walk in skates on the tiled floor, and the gloves knock all the canned goods off the shelves. I tried trick-or-treating in hockey gear one year, it's hot and exhausting and I had a difficult time opening my bag (gloves in the way again).
4. Mike "If it's not Scottish, it's crap" Meyer is a genius. Along with several of these other people:
Avril Lavigne
Pamela Anderson
Romeo Dallaire
Shania Twain
Nelly Furtado
Estella Warren
Sum41
Shannon Tweed
Barenakedladies
Keanu Reeves
Celine Dion
Alanis Morissette
Peter North
Bryan Adams
Neil Young
Jim Carrey
Natasha Henstridge
Jennifer Tilly
Sarah McLachlan
Leonard Cohen
5. Bowl haircuts are an urban legend.
6. Nothing better than bacon and a glass of milk from a bag.
7. Flannel=warm
8. "I'm a Lumberjack and I'm okay." Therapy really helps.
I'm truly sorry, Barry, if I have offended you in some way, eh. It's not in my nature to be anything but polite and considerate. I'm Canadian, after all.

I must say that KK's thoughtful attempt to smooth over the, dare I say bordering on nuclear, tension between our two countries has softened this cold hard heart. So, I thought I needed to give some links to all of you faithful readers that will help us as Americans understand our Northern third world neighbors a little better.
How to tell you are in Canada.
3 Canadian Jokes.
Large Canadian Roadside Attractions.
A Canadian Apology to Americans.
How to Immigrate to Canada.
Hopefully this will go a long way to helping mend some fences. I just hope we mend them high enough.