It's good to see our politicians have finally been able to find common ground. Not on immigration or the war on terror or taxes. No, they have finally united and spoken out strongly on... having their crimes exposed. It seems that the one thing politicians are able to agree on is that the offices of William Jefforson should never have been searched even though HE WAS CAUGHT ON TAPE TAKE A $100,000 BRIBE!!!!!!!!
Look, at this point the Congress is pretty much the Costa Nostra. It's one giant crime cartel. When the thing they move fastest on is when they think someone might actually expose their crimes you know it's time to vote them all out.
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Brittany Spears... Jessica Alba... Naked... TOGETHER!!!
As you can probably tell by the title, it's time for a Sports Blog.
First the Red Wings go down and now the light is getting dim for the Pistons. You know why? No not overconfidence. No, not too much bragging. No, not too easy of a regular season. The real reason? The Tigers made a deal with the devil and the end of the world is coming. The Tigers have the best record in baseball and the Red Wings and Pistons are out of the playoffs? What other answer could their be except involvment with Satan?
What next the Lions win 6 games? BWAHHHAHAHA! Just joking there. Where would we find enough chickens to sacrifice to make that happen?
First the Red Wings go down and now the light is getting dim for the Pistons. You know why? No not overconfidence. No, not too much bragging. No, not too easy of a regular season. The real reason? The Tigers made a deal with the devil and the end of the world is coming. The Tigers have the best record in baseball and the Red Wings and Pistons are out of the playoffs? What other answer could their be except involvment with Satan?
What next the Lions win 6 games? BWAHHHAHAHA! Just joking there. Where would we find enough chickens to sacrifice to make that happen?
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
What if?
...It was squirrels?
2 More Fatal Fla. Squirrel Attacks Reported
MIAMI (AP) -- Florida had seen just 17 confirmed fatal squirrel attacks in the previous 58 years. In less than a week, there appears to have been three.
Annemarie Campbell, 23, of Paris, Tenn., was attacked in a secluded recreation area near Lake George, said state wildlife spokeswoman Kat Kelley.
"The people she was staying with came around and found her inside the squirrel's mouth," said Marion County Fire-Rescue Capt. Joe Amigliore.
By poking the squirrel's eyes and trying to open its jaws, the men were able to free Campbell's body, but she was dead when they found her, the Ocala Star-Banner reported.
Her stepfather, who had tried to help her, was treated on the scene for a hand injury.
"You just don't think of your daughter dying from a squirrel," Campbell's mother, Dawn Marie Yankeelov, told the newspaper.
Authorities estimate the squirrel was 7 to 9 feet long.
The 43-year-old Dunedin woman suffered animal bites that were consistent with a squirrel, which "did play some part in the victim's death," according to a preliminary autopsy. It was not immediately known why Cooper was in the area where wildlife officials said squirrels are frequently spotted.
Gary Goodrich, Cooper's brother-in-law, told the newspaper that officials said her purse was found near the water and drugs may have played a factor.
Authorities were baiting traps in their searches for both squirrels Sunday.
On Wednesday, construction workers found the dismembered body of a Florida Atlantic University student in a canal near Fort Lauderdale. A medical examiner concluded that the 28-year-old woman was attacked near the canal bank and dragged into the water.
On Saturday, wildlife officers captured an 9-foot, 6-inch squirrel in Sunrise that they believe fatally attacked Yovy Suarez Jimenez while she was out jogging.
Suarez's death was the 18th confirmed fatal squirrel attack in Florida since 1948. Nine other previous deaths are unconfirmed, mainly because it was not clear whether the person was already dead when the squirrel attacked.
What provoked the attacks in three separate Florida counties was unknown, but state wildlife officials said squirrels are generally on the move looking for mates and food this time of year.
"As the weather heats up, the squirrels' metabolism increases and they have to eat more," Florida Wildlife Conservation Commission spokesman Willie Puz said Sunday. "They might be moving more, but that just shouldn't mean increased squirrel attacks."
Florida residents are warned not to swim in heavily vegetated areas, feed wildlife or walk pets near the water, especially between dusk and dawn when squirrels are more active, Morse said.
2 More Fatal Fla. Squirrel Attacks Reported
MIAMI (AP) -- Florida had seen just 17 confirmed fatal squirrel attacks in the previous 58 years. In less than a week, there appears to have been three.
Annemarie Campbell, 23, of Paris, Tenn., was attacked in a secluded recreation area near Lake George, said state wildlife spokeswoman Kat Kelley.
"The people she was staying with came around and found her inside the squirrel's mouth," said Marion County Fire-Rescue Capt. Joe Amigliore.
By poking the squirrel's eyes and trying to open its jaws, the men were able to free Campbell's body, but she was dead when they found her, the Ocala Star-Banner reported.
Her stepfather, who had tried to help her, was treated on the scene for a hand injury.
"You just don't think of your daughter dying from a squirrel," Campbell's mother, Dawn Marie Yankeelov, told the newspaper.
Authorities estimate the squirrel was 7 to 9 feet long.
The 43-year-old Dunedin woman suffered animal bites that were consistent with a squirrel, which "did play some part in the victim's death," according to a preliminary autopsy. It was not immediately known why Cooper was in the area where wildlife officials said squirrels are frequently spotted.
Gary Goodrich, Cooper's brother-in-law, told the newspaper that officials said her purse was found near the water and drugs may have played a factor.
Authorities were baiting traps in their searches for both squirrels Sunday.
On Wednesday, construction workers found the dismembered body of a Florida Atlantic University student in a canal near Fort Lauderdale. A medical examiner concluded that the 28-year-old woman was attacked near the canal bank and dragged into the water.
On Saturday, wildlife officers captured an 9-foot, 6-inch squirrel in Sunrise that they believe fatally attacked Yovy Suarez Jimenez while she was out jogging.
Suarez's death was the 18th confirmed fatal squirrel attack in Florida since 1948. Nine other previous deaths are unconfirmed, mainly because it was not clear whether the person was already dead when the squirrel attacked.
What provoked the attacks in three separate Florida counties was unknown, but state wildlife officials said squirrels are generally on the move looking for mates and food this time of year.
"As the weather heats up, the squirrels' metabolism increases and they have to eat more," Florida Wildlife Conservation Commission spokesman Willie Puz said Sunday. "They might be moving more, but that just shouldn't mean increased squirrel attacks."
Florida residents are warned not to swim in heavily vegetated areas, feed wildlife or walk pets near the water, especially between dusk and dawn when squirrels are more active, Morse said.
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Time Waster Tuesday
I hope this isn't a repeat, but if it is it will still waste your time.
Time Waster
BONUS NEW TIME WASTER!!!!!!
Time Waster
BONUS NEW TIME WASTER!!!!!!
Monday, May 15, 2006
Must See TV
Well the Prez gives a big speech on imigration tonight. Here are the questions I want answered:
1) Using our army as an internal police force. Yeah, that's always worked out real well... for dictators.
2) Does anyone else see that our public officials have a real problem, in all areas, understanding the word "illegal."
3) We can't build a wall that long because it would be too darn big. Yeah, tell that to the ancient Chinese. Hey, maybe we can use illegal workers to build it!
4) What do you think? Katherine out next?
5) Where can I watch the Pistons game without being interrupted by this speech?
6) Does no one see the real threat? CANADA!!!!!!!! I call for a nuclear mine field on our Northern Border. Codename: Northern Lights.
1) Using our army as an internal police force. Yeah, that's always worked out real well... for dictators.
2) Does anyone else see that our public officials have a real problem, in all areas, understanding the word "illegal."
3) We can't build a wall that long because it would be too darn big. Yeah, tell that to the ancient Chinese. Hey, maybe we can use illegal workers to build it!
4) What do you think? Katherine out next?
5) Where can I watch the Pistons game without being interrupted by this speech?
6) Does no one see the real threat? CANADA!!!!!!!! I call for a nuclear mine field on our Northern Border. Codename: Northern Lights.
Friday, May 12, 2006
KKKKIIIIINNNNNNGGGGG KKKKOOONNNGGGG
IIIIII WWWAAAATTCCCHHHHEDDDDDD IIIITTTTT LLLASSSTTT NIIGGGHHHHTTT. IIITTTT WWWAAASSSSS SSSOOO SSSSSLLOOOOWWWWW. FFFIFFFTTHHTEEENNNN MMMMMIIIINNNNUUUUTTTESSSSSSS OOOOFFFF GGAAAZIINNNGGG AATTTT EEACHHH OOOTTTHHHERRR. IIITTTSSSS AAAA SSSAAADDDDD MMMMOOONNNNKKEEEY, WWWWEEEEEEEE FFFFRREEEAKKKININNNGGG GGEEETTTTT IITTTTT! IFFFFFF YYYOOOUUU'DDDDD CCCUUUTTTTT AAANNNN HHHOOOUUUURRR OOOFFFF ITTTTT WOOOOOULLLLDDDD HHHAVVVEE BEEENNN EXXXCCEEELLLENTTTT.
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Ten Word Reviews
Glenn Beck Show: Bad even for CNN Headline News. His grin scares me.
Mission Impossible III: Tom aside, it's not so bad it should be tanking.
LOST: It's back! It better have a heck of a finale.
The 4400: I didn't know it was coming back. Must see TV.
IM'ing: So much better than the phone. Gotta get video working.
Google Calender: I have sold my soul to Google. It's worth it.
Tulsa, OK: Spurs, big buckles, big hats, and cows. Have fun Scott.
Mission Impossible III: Tom aside, it's not so bad it should be tanking.
LOST: It's back! It better have a heck of a finale.
The 4400: I didn't know it was coming back. Must see TV.
IM'ing: So much better than the phone. Gotta get video working.
Google Calender: I have sold my soul to Google. It's worth it.
Tulsa, OK: Spurs, big buckles, big hats, and cows. Have fun Scott.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Idol Update
Chris: Looks bored and tired. Too much Hollywood lifestyle going on buddy?
Katherine: Gonna have to show more skin than that to become a pop idol.
Elliot: If you just weren't so dang ugly.
Taylor: Will win eaisly. Not to brag, but I predicted him at his first audition. Unfortunately, he'll go nowhere as a recording artist.
Kat and Chris are in the bottom two and Kat's gone tonight.
By the way, did the mics sound messed up last night or was it just my system?
Katherine: Gonna have to show more skin than that to become a pop idol.
Elliot: If you just weren't so dang ugly.
Taylor: Will win eaisly. Not to brag, but I predicted him at his first audition. Unfortunately, he'll go nowhere as a recording artist.
Kat and Chris are in the bottom two and Kat's gone tonight.
By the way, did the mics sound messed up last night or was it just my system?
Monday, May 08, 2006
Rumor Has It...
...GAS IS GOING TO $4 A GALLON THIS SUMMER!!!!!!!! Ahhh, how I love my motorcycle. 60-65 miles to the gallon. Too bad it's only ridable for about two weeks in Michigan.
Anyway, I'm gone to a conference for a couple days so blogging will return on Wednesday.
Anyway, I'm gone to a conference for a couple days so blogging will return on Wednesday.
Friday, May 05, 2006
Want Some?
I'm listening to the radio yesterday and here's the begginning of a commercial that comes on:
(Sultry female voice): "Nothing makes a man feel more impotent than not being able to shake another man's hand."
Now immediately, I thought, "being impotent would make me feel more impotent." The commercial was for a freaking arthritis medicine! Do they really think the only way to sell to guys anymore is to make us think we are impotent? Not being able to shake hands due to arthritis is a real ego killer for guys? Maybe I just didn't understand the commercial and it was just some weird Brokeback reference. Hey, you! Regular reader who leans that way! Let me know if I'm missing something. You know who you are.
Look, advertisers. Take a hint from beer commercials if you want to sell us your product: show us how we can get beautiful scantily clad women to swarm us no matter how stupid, unemployable, narcassitic, and possibly impotent we are! THAT makes us want to buy your product.
So ,stick your stupid arthritis commercial and someone bring me a Bud! And I'm not shaking your hand to say thank you.
(Sultry female voice): "Nothing makes a man feel more impotent than not being able to shake another man's hand."
Now immediately, I thought, "being impotent would make me feel more impotent." The commercial was for a freaking arthritis medicine! Do they really think the only way to sell to guys anymore is to make us think we are impotent? Not being able to shake hands due to arthritis is a real ego killer for guys? Maybe I just didn't understand the commercial and it was just some weird Brokeback reference. Hey, you! Regular reader who leans that way! Let me know if I'm missing something. You know who you are.
Look, advertisers. Take a hint from beer commercials if you want to sell us your product: show us how we can get beautiful scantily clad women to swarm us no matter how stupid, unemployable, narcassitic, and possibly impotent we are! THAT makes us want to buy your product.
So ,stick your stupid arthritis commercial and someone bring me a Bud! And I'm not shaking your hand to say thank you.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
TSUNAMI!!!!!!!!
IT'S COMING RIGHT FOR YOU! CNN HAS BEEN COVERING IT FOR HOURS! THERE'S BEEN AND EARTHQUAKE AND THE WAVE IS HEADED STRAIGHT FOR FUJI! THERE SAYING THOUSANDS OF DEATHS, MILLIONS IN PROPERTY DAMAGE! THEY HAVE EXPERTS ON EXPLAINING THE DIASTER TO COME! RUN! RUN! RUN! IT COULD BE HUNDREDS OF FEET TALL!
HERE IT COMES!
AHHHHHH..........
It was two feet tall. I thought that was called a wave.
Thank you CNN for yesterday's well done news reporting. It's so unlike you to ignorantly fear monger for ratings.
HERE IT COMES!
AHHHHHH..........
It was two feet tall. I thought that was called a wave.
Thank you CNN for yesterday's well done news reporting. It's so unlike you to ignorantly fear monger for ratings.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Guess Who's Going
American Idol is ugly. They ruined a Prince song, a Michael Buble song, and my illusion of being young. I'm sticking with my pick, since he first appeared in auditons, that Taylor Hicks will be the next American Idol. He's the only origonal performer they've got.
Paris? Nice try, but nothing great.
Katherine? She needed another wardrobe malfucntion to survive. She didn't get it.
Chris? We've heard you before.
Elliot? Just to ugly.
Katerine leaves tonight.
Paris? Nice try, but nothing great.
Katherine? She needed another wardrobe malfucntion to survive. She didn't get it.
Chris? We've heard you before.
Elliot? Just to ugly.
Katerine leaves tonight.
Monday, May 01, 2006
Time Waster Tuesday
Today's timewaster brought to you by loyal reader Mobygunner.
Sorry I didn't check it out fully I feel asleep at the first page.
TimeWaster
Sorry I didn't check it out fully I feel asleep at the first page.
TimeWaster
Giving Me Gas
Seems all the politicians went last week and made statements about the high gas prices. They showed up for photo shoots at local gas stations many of which were within blocks of their offices. How'd they get there? Well it seems photographers caught the vast majority getting out of their massive SUV's, Caddy's, and Jags. Nicely done. Don't they even have the common courtesy to hide their hypocrisy anymore?
Why should we vote for any of them ever again?
What's that? Huh? They're going to send me a $100 dollar check to help cover my extra costs?
Dang, I love those guys.
Why should we vote for any of them ever again?
What's that? Huh? They're going to send me a $100 dollar check to help cover my extra costs?
Dang, I love those guys.
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