Monday, October 31, 2005

Great Tricks for Halloween

Ok, so everyone has TP'ed or jumped out and scared trick-treaters or held someone in their basement for weeks as Halloween gags but come on those are getting old. Let's see some creativity. Like the women in Delaware who commited suicide by hanging herself from a tree right in the middle of the neighborhood. Police weren't notified for 3 hours because people thought it was a cool Halloween decoration. THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! Good one.
So here are a few ideas:
-Pass out laxitives as candy!
-Dress up as Cinderella and let your grade school age children drive you around for trick-or-treating.
-Instead of TP'ing use razorwire.
-Invade Iran.
-Nominate Harriet Myers... again.

Just as few ideas, but I'm open to more.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

I Shall Return On Halloween

Yes, the blog will continue. I'm refreshed, renewed, and will be appearing in a major NBA commercial (no kidding!). More on Monday.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

You Gotta Watch This Show

Ok, I'm gonna use my blog to plug a TV show. I know it's chessy but if you are not watching it you're missing the best comedy since Seinfeld and I would dare say... GASP.... better.
It's Arrested Development on FOX. The writing is clever, the continuity insane, the plots unimiagable, and the acting and casting perfect. From Scott Baio as lawyer Bob Loblaw (say it out loud) replaceing lawyer Henry Winkler because "he can do everything the same and skews younger" to narrator Ron Howard warning that they are not making fun of actor Andy Griffith you can watch it over and over and find new jokes each time.
If you're sick of watching typical sitcoms buy the first two seasons on DVD now and start watching. It's the best show on TV.
Every quotes great but here's a few good ones from the show:
George Sr: They can't convict a husband and wife of the same crime.
Michael: I don't think that's true dad.
George Sr: Really?
Michael: Yeah.
George Sr: Oh, I have the worst flippin attorneys.

GOB: I'm a failure. I can't even fake the death of a stripper.

Lucille: What do we do? She's going to tell Michael. And he won't hear the good stuff, he'll just hear about the beating.

(commercial for the Law Offices of Bob Loblaw)Bob Loblaw: Why should you go to jail for a crime someone else noticed? You don't need double talk, you need Bob Loblaw.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Monday, October 03, 2005

Flipper Alert.

Sometimes animals just lose it completely. Still in their prom dress or collegiate sweater, they up and turn to evil, start writing bad words, get a hold of automatic weapons and generally turn on you. For example...



  • Armed dolphins, trained by the US military to shoot terrorists and pinpoint spies underwater, may be missing in the Gulf of Mexico after Hurricane Katrina. Please stay out of the water.

Also be on the alert for...

  • Mechmonkeys in the suburbs of Los Vegas















  • Republican Guard Squirrels in Akron.











The Kangaroo Kartel in San Francisco















And this kitten in Kalamazoo