Paris Hilton Exposed Again!

As you can tell from today's post title... it's a sports blog!

Monday was my first night attempting to be a Denver Broncos fan.  They played really well. But, as an abused Lions fan during the entire game I kept waiting for them to fall apart. Surely there's a fumble coming. This is where they throw the interception, right? Here comes the prevent defense that prevents us from winning.  But, they just got better as the game went on. I'm not sure what to do. I feel dirty.

So am I a traitor to the Lions? Well, let me put it this way.  I still root for them, but it's like watching sports on ESPN Classics. What's the fun if you already know the outcome?

As a current Lions fan said to me this morning... "...take away the first quarter and we win 21-13".

I don't want to go back to that kind of abusive relationship.

Lipstick

What's the difference between a Hockey mom and a pitbull? What a great ad-lib. Look no matter what your politics you gotta admit Palin has made things fun. The press doesn't know what to make of her. The other side doesn't know how to attack her. McCain doesn't know how to outshine her. She's what Obama and the press want Obama to be and therefore makes him (and Biden and McCain for that matter) look like what the are... Washington politicians. It's about time.
I give her 3 months to become corrupted.

Not Again!

STUPID BUSH! Once again New Orleans is wiped out because of the failure of this administration to care even a little about the common folk. What a bunch of jerks. I think this should be all the evidence we need to start the impeachment!
What's that? It didn't get wiped out? It wasn't that bad? Stuff put in place worked well? Oh.
Well, it's about time they got a Democrat governor into office who straightened things out and showed Bush how to get things done. It's about time some common sense and compassion and competence was on display.
What's that? There was a new governor? He was a very conservative Republican? Oh.
Hey, did you hear about that moose hunting, oil loving, nut case they nominated as VP? Watch out New Orleans.

I Don't Get It

Okay, as someone who speaks on a regular basis I tuned in to Obama's speech last night to see how you hold the attention of 80,ooo people. I don't get it. Maybe I'm just missing something but that was pretty average. I can give you a whole bunch of people who do better than that on a weekly basis let alone when you've prepared "the speech of your life" on subjects you speak on time after time after time. I guess we just don't have that high a bar for politicians. I wonder if regular church goers would think their pastor speaks as well, or better than, what we saw Obama do last night?
On the other hand, McCains VP today? Not bad. Much more genuine and seemed to convey passion much better than Obama.
But still, an historic night as we have our first black Presidential nominee.

It's Time

Okay, I thinks it's time to just shut New Orleans down and find another place to live. I know it's beautiful and full of cultural heritage and has a great view of the gulf. BUT IT'S ALSO WIPED OUT EVERY OTHER YEAR BY A HURRICANE! Look living on the edge of a volcano offers a great view of the countryside and cheap natural heat but you just can't live there.
And while we're at it, move at least 100 yards back from the Mississippi River, the edge of the Pacific Ocean, anywhere where people with machetes attack, and the cannibal village next to the Walmart.

Loving Colorado!

Okay, so we have a park near the house with 25+ miles of moutain bike/hiking trails that we've been going to and just exploring. Well, last night as we hike alone, we're going down a pretty rough trail through a ravine, when what do we hear? A bunch of coyotes just going nuts! The boys freaked out and it was close enough it made us leash the dog and change direction.
Gotta love Colorado.

Sunday Night Church

It was a pretty cool Sunday night service in Denver last night. We had a Catholic nun, and a rabbi, and a Baptist choir. All we needed was a pychic and a voodoo priest and we'd have covered most our bases. This is the party of seperation of church and state? Looks like church outnumbered state about 6 to one.
We hear so much about keeping the church out of the state is it time to hear about the state staying out of the church? If this happens at the Republican convention the other side will have a meltdown as they claim the "religious right bogey man" is back in the house.
Look, I believe it's absolutely positive to have the Church as a cornerstone of our government. I thought what Rick Warren did at the Saddleback forum with McCain and Obama was a great way for the Church to be involved in the issues of our day. Unfortunately, usually we're not getting the Church we're just getting religion... and most Americans don't know the difference.

Do we need to say it?

So the guys that found bigfoot and had the press waiting with baited breath turned out to be a hoax? Bigfoot? A hoax? Really? Huh. So does that mean no Easter Bunny too?

The Real Games...

Once again the real athletes were on "Wanna Bet?" Tuesday night. World record sprinters can't compete with a guy who could identify misc. CD's while blindfolded by... wait for it... wait for it...
LICKING THEM!
It was amazing! Don't let the lame olympics distract you from the real competition going on.

No Honor Among Thieves...

So I was in a Fantasy Football "Keeper League". Basically, it's like being in Fagin's gang. You think you're in friendly company but watch out. Everyone trying to rip each other off, taking advantage of others lack of knowledge of up-to-the-minute player news, or unwillingness to quit a job to be able to stay up 'till 2 in the morning to grab the lastest free agent.
Verbal commitments are pointless, mistakes are unmercifully jumped upon, the idea of waviers to help those in last place is considered evil and honor is something considered as akin to dog fighting. Come to think of it... it became pretty much like I imagine REAL NFL football management.
So I quit.
I was told that was dishonorable. Heh.
So, I'm starting a new league which will actually aim at having fun and being fair with a bunch of friends even at the expense of winning.
I know, that's a fantasy.

First Day of School

Ah... the crisp early morning air as you stand on the sidewalk waiting for the bus, the nervous noise as the kids ride together to the exciting unknown of the new school year, the placing of the first book in the locker, the confusion of finding your first class, the joy of getting that one teacher you always wanted, the renewed instant friendship of those you haven't seen all summer... yeah, we home school, skipped it all, and slept in.

Real Sports

Forget the Olympics. How boring is it to watch another night of guys swimming laps in a pool? 7 year old Chinese girls falling off balance beams? You want real sports and competition? Then check out "Wipeout" and "Wanna Bet?" on Tuesday nights.
Wipeout is basically a bunch of events set up to hurt the contestents for our enjoyment. Pounding them with mechanical boxing gloves, causing them to vomit on a rotating platform, bouncing them into neck breaking contortions. THIS is what I want to see in the Olympics!
Then there's "Wanna Bet?" which had an athlete that blows Phelps out of the water. The 10 year old was blindfolded and then they randomly picked 5 vacum cleaners out of a group of 50. He correctly identified brand and model... by sound!
I'll never watch the Olympics ever again.

Milli Miaoke

Seems we're finding out what more the Chinese faked at the opening ceremonies.

From the UK Telegraph:

The girl in the red dress with the pigtails, called Lin Miaoke, 9, and from a Beijing primary school, has become a national sensation since Friday night, giving interviews to all the most popular newspapers.
But the show's musical designer felt forced to set the record straight. He gave an interview to Beijing radio saying the real singer was a seven-year-old girl who had won a gruelling competition to perform the anthem, a patriotic song called "Hymn to the Motherland".

At the last moment a member of the Chinese politburo who was watching a rehearsal pronounced that the winner, a girl called Yang Peiyi, might have a perfect voice but was unsuited to the lead role because of her buck teeth.

So "more communist approved" Miaoke was brought in to lip sync. I bet she enjoyed the very kid friendly people they had help her learn to lip sync a song in a few hours, too.

Okay, folks. We've got to realize there is still evil in the world. Don't buy everything you see on TV, from the cover up of John Edwards AND John McCains affairs, Obama's crooked political relationships, child sex rings, slave labor in communist countries (which probably helped build half the Olympic sites) and continuing persecution of religious and miniority groups worldwide. I guess, as I'm on my soapbox, I'm simply asking that we not let the corrupt power players of our world lull us into turning a blind eye to injustice... even if it does make our enjoyment of the Olympic games more pretty and entertaining.

Silver and Gold

I'd like to give some Gold Medals out for outstanding performances at the Olymipics so far...

Gold metal to... The Fake Opening Ceremonies. Way to go communist governement in using your skills to digitally "enhance" the Opening Ceremonies. You know the "footprint fireworks"? Yeah, they really didn't exist. China added them to their media feed. What else didn't really exist... besides freedom.

Gold metal to... stabbing an American. Nothing says "Welcome to China USA!" like having one of our citizens fatally stabbed while walking down the street.

Gold metal to... Russia. While the US is handcuffed by promoting good feelings and peace by overlooking Communism during the Olympics, Russia invades Georgia. BRILLIANT! Look out Florida.

Silver metal to... the French relay swim team. After boasting they would crush the American swim team they surrended in the last 10m. The French getting tough? Au contraire.

Gold Metal to... gymnast costume material. It gives me hope that one day I can actually make my own superhero costume. Is it liquid metal?

Gold Metal to... George W. Basking in the glow of the bikini clad women's beach volleyball team and cheering on Kobe Bryant, he still has time to be irked by China's lack of freedom and the pesky invading Russians. That's Olympic level multitasking!

Sorry...

Sorry I had a couple of really busy days and didn't get to blog. I'll be back Monday. In the meantime, thanks for all the input on the "Why You Shouldn't Go to Church" question.

Lion Alert Update

A few weeks ago I told you about a Lion loose in the area. Shannon C. provided a good solution by advising me to put endzones around the building to keep the Lions away. I got started on that plan when I was given this update today.
It wasn't a Lion that was spotted it was a Great Dane "shaved weird." How weird do you have to shave a Great Dane to have it mistaken for a Lion? And who exactly spends time shaving Great Danes?
So, if you're a Great Dane shaver please let me know if it's even possible to shave a Great Dane that weirdly. So, Shannon, what would you advise to keep weirdly shaved Great Dane's from our building?

Why You Shouldn't Go to Church

Hey, I'm using my blog for some work related stuff. I want to know what are your top 5 reasons for not going to church or, if you do go, what you think the most common reasons others don't go are.
I'm going to use some of this for the basis of a talk I'm doing in September.
So, give me your feedback... heathens.

Lightning Never Strikes Twice

No it strikes the same place 100 times! That's the amount of hits we had this afternoon around our church building which, once again, started a 15 acre fire. Okay, so here's the weather as I've found it in Colorado Springs... 95% beautiful sunshine interupted by lightning!
Boy, if I could catch it in a bottle I'd have something.

I've Got It!

The whole election thing has been driving me crazy. There is no way I can vote for either of these guys, but I usually vote Libertarian anyway. Then the Libertarians show their true colors and nominate a guy who doesn't stand for their values but could simply get them some attention. Just another typical political party.
BUT, I've decided John McCain could get my vote. Here's what he's got to do.
1) Nominate a really conservative VP.
2) Pledge to die within his first two years in office.
He does that I'm in.

Fat Cat

You've probably seen the story of the 40+ pound cat that needs adopting (it's on the front page of the newspapers since it's a slow news period with just war and elections and governement indictments out there). We'll I've been reading possible names for the cats... here are some of my favorites:
Girthfield
Beefer Sutherland
Jose Catseco
Rush Limbaugh
Al Gore
Tiny
Raymond Purr
Kirstie Alley-Cat
Bruce
Tabbyfat

That Was Close...

Man, John McCain... standing at the oil rig... Obama not getting any traction... Americans starting to really rip the Dems for not allowing drilling... AND... AND... AND...
McCain gives a hint he may have cancer and raise taxes. WHEW! That was close. For a moment there I thought we might have a race.

Why Google Will Always Be the Best

So it looks like some site calling itself Cuil (pronounced "cool") is trying to challenge Google for the world's best search engine. Look, there's one way to prove this isn't true. Google "Barry Zimmerman" and check out carefully the first page and then Google images for "Barry Zimmerman". Google is the man. Besides, who's gonna start using "Cuil" as a verb? "Hey, can you cuil me the movie times for the Dark Knight?" "I need someone to Cuil me a picture of an exploding gorilla." Yeah, that's pretty uncuil.

Dont' Bug Me!

Begin rant....
Did you know there are no bugs in Colorado Springs? I haven't seen or been bit by a single mosquito, have seen about 5 flies, a few ants, and some gnats at the beach. But, otherwise it's a bug free paradise! IN YOUR FACE MICHIGAN YOU BUG INFESTED HAND SHAPED STATE!!!!
Of course lions are ravaging the countryside here, but at least the Lions here are having some success.
End of rant.....

President of the World

So who are you voting for for President of the World? I thought Obama made a good case for himself. I mean hold a speech while giving out free beer and you could really win some people over. Meanwhile, McCain hasn't even tried to win the votes of any Europeans! How's he gonna get enough electoral votes if he loses France or Sweden? Personally, I don't really care for either of them. I kinda like Madonna's chances. She was even willing to move to London. That's what I want to see in our next President.

AHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Facebook's down! Facebook's down! Facebook's down! Facebook's down! What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? Where's Obama? Where's McCain? Why has God forsaken me?

On the same day this is reported? And the Xfile movie comes out? Coincidence? I think not. If it's not the Canadians it's always the aliens.

Not Very Christian

Reasons Christian Bale Most Likely Beat Up His Mom and Sister:
1) He doesn't need a reason, he's Batman
2) They figured out his secret identity
3) They tried to break his newspaper strike
4) His sister had just been found to be out drinking with Robin
5) His mom didn't think the Dark Knight was violent enough
6) They kept refering to him as "Batboy"
7) He only gave them 15 million of his take for the Dark Knight
8) They said Chuck Norris was tougher
9) They kept asking if he and Harvey Dent were "superfriends"
10) Who doesn't want to hit thier sister?
11) They started asking too many questions about what happened to the "other" Rachel

Here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty

Okay, last week I told you about our Lion alert. I survived that but now word comes of another big cat warning. Seems a local prize llama (I didn't even know they had contest) has been killed by a mountain lion. I'm afraid to go outdoors. I'm just hoping the mountain lion runs into the African lion and we can kill two birds (cats?) with one stone.

10 Word Review

The Dark Knight: Dark, dark, dark, dark, dark, dark, dark, dark, dark, incredible.

Where Was I?

Went as a sponsor to the amusement park in Denver today. The first ride we rode was the "Minderaser". Hey, when did I move near Denver?

Lion Alert!

It seems a lion is on the loose today in good old Falcon, Colorado where my new church is located. I recieved a phone call warning me. Usually, I wouldn't worry about it but it just happens today is the day my material for our new church promotion, "Meridian Point... the cats out of the bag!", arrives ... it's a hundred pounds of catnip. Some coincidence, huh?

(Yes, a part of that story is actually true.)

Hey, I'm gonna try to blog on a regular basis again! Blog to ya tomorrow.

Those who forget the past...

So Christy Lee Cook is out. Well, she should have seen it coming. She was in the bottom 3, I think, all but 1 week which should have led her to the tactic all past hot babes have taken when they realize they aren't going to go very far on talent alone... start peeling off clothes.
Yes, Christy took the high road and left her clothes on and it cost her. Past contestents like Haley and Mcphee and Pickler were able to hang on weeks further than they should have by learning the fine art of a month long striptease.
Kudos to Christy for not taking that route. Let's hope, as she drops into obscurity, the lightbulb dosn't go on and she ends up on the net or some men's magazine. Let's also hope David Archeletta doesn't think this strategy will help him.

Not So Sexy Anymore Are Ya?

The once invulnerable Australian accent which could make Olivian Newton John a star, get at least two Crocadile Dundee movies made, sell average beer, make crappy 80's bands successful, and steal women away from those much more deserving has taken a huge hit. Kiss your dominance goodbye, Australian accent!
Micahel Johns, of American Idol, seemed a shoe in to win because all the women I know (that would be about 3) just tripped over the accent regardless of his wannabe talent, has been booted. He's is gone. HA! Take that Australia.
Throw Micahel on the barbie!

Rocky Mountain High

Well, we're settled in in Colorado. Someone here said, "The only reason people from Michigan say they would never want to live anywhere else is if they have never been anywhere else." So in honor of that comment here are ways Michigan is better than Colorado...

• The snow last 6 months not just 6 hours.
• The high humidity.
• Don't have to worry about new people moving in because of the job market.
• Don't have to worry about sunburn.
• You find you really miss urban blight.
• State pride is overated.
• You can't beat sking at Mt. Brighton.
• Mosquitos.
• Indoor living.
• Bigger opportunities to "invest" financially in my state.
• Obese people.
• The Lions. Need I say more?

Man, I miss Michigan.

Idol Brings Me Back

Okay, American Idol is back and that has motivated me to return to blogging.


Thoughts....

• Simon's nicer this year. Too bad.


• The best group of singers in a long time.


• Unfortunately they're all guys... the girls suck. Maybe two can stay in for a while... Carly Smithson (who will prove to be unlikable) and Ramiele Malubay (great voice but can she go the distance and get better?).


• The contest is already over. They have one of the most talented singers/artist since Fantasia but a little bit more main stream in David Archuleta. He is phenomonal and will win hands down. The only one who can give him a run is Michael Johns due to the Australian accent.

So there we go. Stupid old American Idol brings be back to the blog. We'll see how long I stick with it this time seeing as how I'm in the middle of a cross country move.

So Long, Farewell

I know it's been forever since I've updated the blog but here's why in a nutshell...
After 14+ years in Bailey, MI we are moving to Colorado Springs, Colorado where I will be working for Sunnyside Christian Church as the lead minister of a church plant/satellite called Meridian Point Church. Needless to say the last few months have been a whirlwind and we should be heading west in about 2 weeks.
So... I'll start updating again once we're settled. Until then keep an eye on those northern borders.