Friday, January 28, 2005

Unseen Cavaliers

Is this a joke? This article tells of a group calling itself the "Unseen Cavaliers". The group is open to anyone owning a Chevrolet Cavalier, a mid-size economy car, according to the club's Web site. If that doesn't scream trouble what does? I mean motorcycle gangs are scary, but a bunch of middle class people driving around in Chevy Cavaliers is just asking for trouble.
Well, it seems like this bunch of wildmen is implicated in the largest arson case in Maryland history! The fires they set destroyed 10 unoccupied houses and damaged 16 others at the upscale Hunters Brooke development. The reason? "We wanted to become big and famous."
Ok, a few problems with the theory:
#1: No one's getting big and famous driving around in Chevy Cavaliers
#2: Ya gotta do better than burning things. You've need to do something really offensive like appearing on American Idol and singing really bad.
#3: You've definately gotta expose some part of your body. Unseen doesn't cut it these days.
But, District attorney's have now found out that most of these properties belonged to black homeowners. Investigators are saying they need to carefully investigate to find out rather these fires were racially motivated or not. Hmmmm, you think?
I wonder what kind of cars the investigators are driving?
By the way I'm starting the "Unseen Escorts" so I can become big and famous. I'm planning on harrassing those rotten preschoolers next door. If I can catch them on those stinking big wheels. Who's in?

3 comments:

James said...

This group is a disgrace to the valiant memory of the One True Cavalier, Eric Terrence Donaldson. He was never "unseen"! Peace be with you, Eric. May you one day find your way home to us.

James said...

Thanks for replying to the missive you engendered. I thought you might want to know that there are other ex-Franklinites on the Blog Scene, and no one is rantier than FHS Class of 1985's own Major General Stanley. Hear him rant about Michael Jackson! Choice quote:

So now, Michael proceeds to blow his fortune on fur-lined sinks, monkey diapers, lawyer fees and many cases of "Jesus Juice".

Heh heh. He said "Monkey Diapers."

Ted Demopoulos said...

This group needs good PR, and they need it fast!
I suggest they start a blog!