Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Exciting!

Do we need any more proof that soccer needs to be killed. Here is the headline and opening paragraph on a big US win the other day:
US outlast Panama on penalties in Gold Cup
The United States outlasted Panama on penalty kicks 3-1 to win their third Concacaf Gold Cup on Sunday, prevailing over the Central Americans after 120 minutes of goalless soccer.
Wow! I can't believe I missed that! It was a valiant attempt at making it sound exciting but no cigar. I mean basically it could have said:
Another Boring Soccer Game
After 120 minutes of nothing happening refs decided to just get the game over with.

Let's see what this would look like in other sports.
Tigers Walk In Winning Run
The tigers outlasted the Indians by scoring a win off a walk in the bottom of the ninth in a game that saw 42 walked batters.
Lions Hold On To Win with Field Goal
In a game highlighted by more penalty yardage than actual offensive yardage the Lions win on a 3 yard field goal.
Pistons Win After Opponent Fouls Out
All twelve Bulls fouled out of the Chicago/Detroit game last night giving the Pistons a resounding 12-8 win.

Actually, after writing this, those games would still all be more interesting than soccer.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

You are probably the same guy who likes playoff hockey that is scoreless going into the 3rd period. It is the same thing. You are just another ignorant American who can't grasp the sport.

ejs said...

How dare you! And Lily-livered enough to hide under the ambiguity of anonymous. Do you not know of who you speak? Barry Zimmerman is not just another ignorant American. He is The Ignorant American! If Lederer, Burdick and Lederer were to write another book it would be set in the fictional country of Baily and Mr. Zimmerman would be our Supreme Court Justice.

You are probably the poser who still thinks angst is in and this world owes you something as you rack up another debt to society.

Well let it be known here and now, if there is an Ignorant American Poster Boy for my generation, I will proudly be hanging a picture of Barry on my hall of shame while you watch another yawn evoking shoot out.

Barry said...

Heck YEAH!!!!

Hey wait a minute...

Fabian said...

2 days no post...has this blog finally ran it's course?

Keep on trucking at
fabiansworld.blogspot.com