Lightning Never Strikes Twice

No it strikes the same place 100 times! That's the amount of hits we had this afternoon around our church building which, once again, started a 15 acre fire. Okay, so here's the weather as I've found it in Colorado Springs... 95% beautiful sunshine interupted by lightning!
Boy, if I could catch it in a bottle I'd have something.

I've Got It!

The whole election thing has been driving me crazy. There is no way I can vote for either of these guys, but I usually vote Libertarian anyway. Then the Libertarians show their true colors and nominate a guy who doesn't stand for their values but could simply get them some attention. Just another typical political party.
BUT, I've decided John McCain could get my vote. Here's what he's got to do.
1) Nominate a really conservative VP.
2) Pledge to die within his first two years in office.
He does that I'm in.

Fat Cat

You've probably seen the story of the 40+ pound cat that needs adopting (it's on the front page of the newspapers since it's a slow news period with just war and elections and governement indictments out there). We'll I've been reading possible names for the cats... here are some of my favorites:
Girthfield
Beefer Sutherland
Jose Catseco
Rush Limbaugh
Al Gore
Tiny
Raymond Purr
Kirstie Alley-Cat
Bruce
Tabbyfat

That Was Close...

Man, John McCain... standing at the oil rig... Obama not getting any traction... Americans starting to really rip the Dems for not allowing drilling... AND... AND... AND...
McCain gives a hint he may have cancer and raise taxes. WHEW! That was close. For a moment there I thought we might have a race.

Why Google Will Always Be the Best

So it looks like some site calling itself Cuil (pronounced "cool") is trying to challenge Google for the world's best search engine. Look, there's one way to prove this isn't true. Google "Barry Zimmerman" and check out carefully the first page and then Google images for "Barry Zimmerman". Google is the man. Besides, who's gonna start using "Cuil" as a verb? "Hey, can you cuil me the movie times for the Dark Knight?" "I need someone to Cuil me a picture of an exploding gorilla." Yeah, that's pretty uncuil.

Dont' Bug Me!

Begin rant....
Did you know there are no bugs in Colorado Springs? I haven't seen or been bit by a single mosquito, have seen about 5 flies, a few ants, and some gnats at the beach. But, otherwise it's a bug free paradise! IN YOUR FACE MICHIGAN YOU BUG INFESTED HAND SHAPED STATE!!!!
Of course lions are ravaging the countryside here, but at least the Lions here are having some success.
End of rant.....

President of the World

So who are you voting for for President of the World? I thought Obama made a good case for himself. I mean hold a speech while giving out free beer and you could really win some people over. Meanwhile, McCain hasn't even tried to win the votes of any Europeans! How's he gonna get enough electoral votes if he loses France or Sweden? Personally, I don't really care for either of them. I kinda like Madonna's chances. She was even willing to move to London. That's what I want to see in our next President.

AHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Facebook's down! Facebook's down! Facebook's down! Facebook's down! What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? Where's Obama? Where's McCain? Why has God forsaken me?

On the same day this is reported? And the Xfile movie comes out? Coincidence? I think not. If it's not the Canadians it's always the aliens.

Not Very Christian

Reasons Christian Bale Most Likely Beat Up His Mom and Sister:
1) He doesn't need a reason, he's Batman
2) They figured out his secret identity
3) They tried to break his newspaper strike
4) His sister had just been found to be out drinking with Robin
5) His mom didn't think the Dark Knight was violent enough
6) They kept refering to him as "Batboy"
7) He only gave them 15 million of his take for the Dark Knight
8) They said Chuck Norris was tougher
9) They kept asking if he and Harvey Dent were "superfriends"
10) Who doesn't want to hit thier sister?
11) They started asking too many questions about what happened to the "other" Rachel

Here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty

Okay, last week I told you about our Lion alert. I survived that but now word comes of another big cat warning. Seems a local prize llama (I didn't even know they had contest) has been killed by a mountain lion. I'm afraid to go outdoors. I'm just hoping the mountain lion runs into the African lion and we can kill two birds (cats?) with one stone.

10 Word Review

The Dark Knight: Dark, dark, dark, dark, dark, dark, dark, dark, dark, incredible.

Where Was I?

Went as a sponsor to the amusement park in Denver today. The first ride we rode was the "Minderaser". Hey, when did I move near Denver?

Lion Alert!

It seems a lion is on the loose today in good old Falcon, Colorado where my new church is located. I recieved a phone call warning me. Usually, I wouldn't worry about it but it just happens today is the day my material for our new church promotion, "Meridian Point... the cats out of the bag!", arrives ... it's a hundred pounds of catnip. Some coincidence, huh?

(Yes, a part of that story is actually true.)

Hey, I'm gonna try to blog on a regular basis again! Blog to ya tomorrow.

Those who forget the past...

So Christy Lee Cook is out. Well, she should have seen it coming. She was in the bottom 3, I think, all but 1 week which should have led her to the tactic all past hot babes have taken when they realize they aren't going to go very far on talent alone... start peeling off clothes.
Yes, Christy took the high road and left her clothes on and it cost her. Past contestents like Haley and Mcphee and Pickler were able to hang on weeks further than they should have by learning the fine art of a month long striptease.
Kudos to Christy for not taking that route. Let's hope, as she drops into obscurity, the lightbulb dosn't go on and she ends up on the net or some men's magazine. Let's also hope David Archeletta doesn't think this strategy will help him.

Not So Sexy Anymore Are Ya?

The once invulnerable Australian accent which could make Olivian Newton John a star, get at least two Crocadile Dundee movies made, sell average beer, make crappy 80's bands successful, and steal women away from those much more deserving has taken a huge hit. Kiss your dominance goodbye, Australian accent!
Micahel Johns, of American Idol, seemed a shoe in to win because all the women I know (that would be about 3) just tripped over the accent regardless of his wannabe talent, has been booted. He's is gone. HA! Take that Australia.
Throw Micahel on the barbie!

Rocky Mountain High

Well, we're settled in in Colorado. Someone here said, "The only reason people from Michigan say they would never want to live anywhere else is if they have never been anywhere else." So in honor of that comment here are ways Michigan is better than Colorado...

• The snow last 6 months not just 6 hours.
• The high humidity.
• Don't have to worry about new people moving in because of the job market.
• Don't have to worry about sunburn.
• You find you really miss urban blight.
• State pride is overated.
• You can't beat sking at Mt. Brighton.
• Mosquitos.
• Indoor living.
• Bigger opportunities to "invest" financially in my state.
• Obese people.
• The Lions. Need I say more?

Man, I miss Michigan.

Idol Brings Me Back

Okay, American Idol is back and that has motivated me to return to blogging.


Thoughts....

• Simon's nicer this year. Too bad.


• The best group of singers in a long time.


• Unfortunately they're all guys... the girls suck. Maybe two can stay in for a while... Carly Smithson (who will prove to be unlikable) and Ramiele Malubay (great voice but can she go the distance and get better?).


• The contest is already over. They have one of the most talented singers/artist since Fantasia but a little bit more main stream in David Archuleta. He is phenomonal and will win hands down. The only one who can give him a run is Michael Johns due to the Australian accent.

So there we go. Stupid old American Idol brings be back to the blog. We'll see how long I stick with it this time seeing as how I'm in the middle of a cross country move.

So Long, Farewell

I know it's been forever since I've updated the blog but here's why in a nutshell...
After 14+ years in Bailey, MI we are moving to Colorado Springs, Colorado where I will be working for Sunnyside Christian Church as the lead minister of a church plant/satellite called Meridian Point Church. Needless to say the last few months have been a whirlwind and we should be heading west in about 2 weeks.
So... I'll start updating again once we're settled. Until then keep an eye on those northern borders.

Best of TICS: Wisconsin In Crisis! 4-13-05

It seems Wisconsin has a major problem... feral cats. Now I'm not sure I know exactly what a feral cat is, and the people dealing with them in Wisconsin haven't been able to give a good definition, but from what I gather they are a little bigger than the average housecat and a little smaller than a Sherman tank. It seems these gigantic stray cats are breeding uncontroably and causing general mahem, like tipping over trash cans, running up large credit card bills, and playing pool. But mainly they are eating birds. Lots and lots of birds. Now I know you're thinking, "This is an easy problem to solve: Kill the cats. I mean how easy would it be to find some proffessional cat killers? Heck, amateur ones would be a dime a dozen." (On a similar note check out this link)
But, here is the problem... animal rights activist. Cat loving animal rights activist and bird loving animal rights activist. The bird side is wanting the cats to die to save the birds and the cat side is willing to let the birds die to save the cats. Now you see the crisis.
WHY THE HECK WON'T ANIMALS RESPECT OTHER ANIMALS! IT'S INHUMANE!
I'm at a loss. Please post your suggestions before we lose all the benefits Wisconsin brings to our union. Like cheese, and uh... uh... well there's... Hey! They're a good buffer zone between civilization and Canada!

Best of TICS: Pull 'em Up 2-22-05

Ahh, the fashion police. If you live in Virginia you better get those pants up. That's right the Virginia house voted 60-34 for a bill which would impose a $50 fine on anyone whose boxers, briefs or thongs peek above their pants or skirts.
Finally, the government is getting to some important issues. Forget immigration, jobs, terrorism, and constitutional freedom, we need more lawmakers like the guys in the Virginia House. So come on lawmakers let's move on some other pressing issues of our day:
-Rounding up and killing that whole breed of hairless cats.
-Raising the minimum wage to $50 an hour, so I can work part-time at McDonalds and play more video games.
-Speeding up global warming, at least in Michigan.
-Shooting on site anyone who doesn't use a turn signal
-Deporting all Canadians
-Kicking Virginia out of the Union
-Sentencing Ashley Simpson to the chair