Stop the Violence

It seems some schools in the Virginia area have been having trouble with fights after high school football games so the wise God-like figures running the public schools there figured out how to solve the problem... ban post-game handshaking.
"There have been some instances in the past where the handshaking has gotten a little bit out of control, with kids spitting on each other [and] kicking each other," said Larry Shumaker, principal of Northumberland High School in Heathsville. "We're just trying to prevent situations from occurring before they occur."
"You got beat 56-0 and you want someone to tell you 'Good game' 35 times?" Rappahannock High School Principal Jack Cooley asked. "If you go through the line, there's a possibility that somebody's gonna push somebody, hit somebody, and it's going to be a big problem at the end of the game."
Of course there was the wacko parental response:
"As long as we keep dumbing down what these students have to live up to, then our society will never get any better," Mr. Haynie said. "They're taking away the opportunity for these kids to step up. It's ridiculous."
"None of these kids are pros, but they're going to get jobs somewhere and run up against people who are unfair to them and to others," Mr. Shahan said. "Scholastic athletics is about how to deal with life and adversity."
WHAT NUTJOBS!
So in the interest of world wide peace I have made a list of other digusting acts that lead to violence that I say should stop immediately...

• Opening doors for people (what if they don't want to go in? What are you implying?).
• Hugging your children (Maybe they're having a bad day... are you just rubbing it in?)
• The United Way (What? You're saying I need help?)
• Peace Treaties (We're both losers?)
• Buying your wife flowers (Is that a hint to decorate more?)
• Raises ( I'm not worth another .25 cents than that?)
• Replying to blogs (Look, it's my site, so stick it!)
• Praying for people (What if you make their God/superior being angry?)