Everything's Better With Monkeys

I know what your gonna say... "But, Joesph Stalin was a bad guy." Ok, I'll grant you that. But, man, if we could have just given him a little aid. According to this article it seems in the 1920's Joe was trying to create an army of genetically altered Super Warrior Monkeys! Now I'm basically a pacifist so I'm totally against war monkeys but I think the good 'ole US of A could have taken them and just think of the benefits...

• I could finally have some monkey butlers.
• King Kong could have had more monkeys with better acting
• How much cooler would those old news reels be with monkeys?
• Imagine Saving Private Ryan... with monkeys!
• Wouldn't it just be cool to hear... "Vote Jeb and Monkey in '08"
• The Monkeys (the band) could have been real monkeys!
• They could finally make a "Curious George Movie" with some integrity
• Just think of the WWII strategy Video game potential! You'd be fighting monkeys! That's video game gold!

And I'll leave you with this... Did Stalin really fail in his experiments?