...Thursday's post.
Sunday, November 05, 2006
Thursday, November 02, 2006
An Actual Conversation
An actual IM about the Lions upcoming game this weekend. The name has been changed to protect the stupid.
Ike Fabian: I actually think they could beat atlanta
Ike Fabian: this week
BAZ: I'm gonna be off by 3 on my prediction of 6 wins. I feel like such a homer.
Ike Fabian: im way off of mine
BAZ: But, that last comment shows I'm nowhere near the homer you are.
Ike Fabian: right
Ike Fabian: jerk
BAZ: Beat the Falcons!?!! HAHAHAHAHA! I wish I was still a betting man.
Ike Fabian: me too
BAZ: Is Barry Sanders coming out of retirement and I just haven't heard the news?
Ike Fabian: bite me
BAZ: Did we just hire the Tuna?
Ike Fabian: bite
Ike Fabian: me
BAZ: Was there a trade for all our players for the Cincinnati Bengals?
Ike Fabian: im no longer replying
BAZ: Grand Rapids Central High filling in for us this week?
BAZ: Were the Falcon starters and 2nd stringers all killed in a plane crash?
BAZ: Have they changed the rules so that the team with the least points wins?
BAZ: Have monkeys actually been spotted flying out of Mike Millans butt and joining the pigs that are flying overhead?
BAZ: Yeah, I'm with ya. We'll beat the Falcons.
Ike Fabian: are you done?
BAZ: Are the RedWings playing in hell tonight cause there's now enough ice?
BAZ: Now I'm done.
Ike Fabian: I actually think they could beat atlanta
Ike Fabian: this week
BAZ: I'm gonna be off by 3 on my prediction of 6 wins. I feel like such a homer.
Ike Fabian: im way off of mine
BAZ: But, that last comment shows I'm nowhere near the homer you are.
Ike Fabian: right
Ike Fabian: jerk
BAZ: Beat the Falcons!?!! HAHAHAHAHA! I wish I was still a betting man.
Ike Fabian: me too
BAZ: Is Barry Sanders coming out of retirement and I just haven't heard the news?
Ike Fabian: bite me
BAZ: Did we just hire the Tuna?
Ike Fabian: bite
Ike Fabian: me
BAZ: Was there a trade for all our players for the Cincinnati Bengals?
Ike Fabian: im no longer replying
BAZ: Grand Rapids Central High filling in for us this week?
BAZ: Were the Falcon starters and 2nd stringers all killed in a plane crash?
BAZ: Have they changed the rules so that the team with the least points wins?
BAZ: Have monkeys actually been spotted flying out of Mike Millans butt and joining the pigs that are flying overhead?
BAZ: Yeah, I'm with ya. We'll beat the Falcons.
Ike Fabian: are you done?
BAZ: Are the RedWings playing in hell tonight cause there's now enough ice?
BAZ: Now I'm done.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Libre Allocution
It seems the French have made it illegal to say that you don't believe that the mass murder of Armenians in Turkey following WWI was genocide. Well, kudos to the Frogs for actually aknowledging evil in the world, it's big step forward for them, but since they are on a "make it to illegal to say" kick here's some other things it should be illegal for the French to say:
- Would you like some snails?
- I would like a hamburger.
- We are not snotty, we're just right.
- I don't think they'll attack.
- Hand me that pen, I'd like to sign your treaty.
- Would you like to buy some weapons?
- We had nothing to do with Canada.
- If it wasn't for us you'd never have won that revolution.
- Viva Le [fill in the blank]
- You can trust us.
- We surrender.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Monday, October 09, 2006
The Big Bang
Well, it looks like North Korea has tested a nuke. The people in nearby Hiroshima aren't real thrilled. So the big question is...
Did you see that Tiger game? It was awesome. Man, the celebration afterward looked like we'd won the World Series. Guys running into the stand, spraying minors and State Troopers with champagne. It was just great.
Which brings us back to North Korea and the Nuke. You really want to take out an American city? Make sure the Tigers win the World Series and Detroit will be wiped off the map.
Did you see that Tiger game? It was awesome. Man, the celebration afterward looked like we'd won the World Series. Guys running into the stand, spraying minors and State Troopers with champagne. It was just great.
Which brings us back to North Korea and the Nuke. You really want to take out an American city? Make sure the Tigers win the World Series and Detroit will be wiped off the map.
Friday, October 06, 2006
October Surprise
This is like the Christmas of the political season. You never know what you're gonna get, but just like presents from your rich uncle, you know it's gonna be good.
This year, so far, we get the gay/pedophile/conservative/in the closet/who knew/pages scandal. However I agree with Limbaugh, I really miss the good old days when a sex scandal actually involved honest to goodness sex between a real live man and women. Ahhh... for the days of Gary Hart and Monkey Buisness. Figures that in the 21st century we'd be getting cyber surprises.
Following are my list of wanted October Surprises:
George Bush is revealed to be OBL with plastic surgery.
Hillary Clinton turns out to be a man.
The Senate decides to cut spending.
Area 51 is discoverd to simply be a strip club for congressman.
The State of North Dakota reunites with South Dakota.
W. Virgina turns out to simply be a prank.
It's revealed twinkies are acutally a biological democratic mind-control device.
Iran is made the 51st state.
Bill Clinton found to be having no sex.
Premptive nuke strike on Canada.
This year, so far, we get the gay/pedophile/conservative/in the closet/who knew/pages scandal. However I agree with Limbaugh, I really miss the good old days when a sex scandal actually involved honest to goodness sex between a real live man and women. Ahhh... for the days of Gary Hart and Monkey Buisness. Figures that in the 21st century we'd be getting cyber surprises.
Following are my list of wanted October Surprises:
George Bush is revealed to be OBL with plastic surgery.
Hillary Clinton turns out to be a man.
The Senate decides to cut spending.
Area 51 is discoverd to simply be a strip club for congressman.
The State of North Dakota reunites with South Dakota.
W. Virgina turns out to simply be a prank.
It's revealed twinkies are acutally a biological democratic mind-control device.
Iran is made the 51st state.
Bill Clinton found to be having no sex.
Premptive nuke strike on Canada.
Thursday, October 05, 2006
What the Heck!?!?!?!
LOST is still the best show on TV. The episode last night made you feel like you are being mentally totured right along with the characters. Do you trust her? Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No.
Dang. Let me tell you how this show would have gone if I had been one of the survivors.
No way do I ever push the button. I open fire when the others hold Kate captive in the jungle that one night. I let Said torture the Other leader as much as he wants/needs too. I don't put my back against any wall or even talk to the chick holding me captive, and if I do when I make my escape she bites it and I flood the place.
Now the series would have lasted 1 episode but at least the suspense would be over! Stop playing games with us!!!!!!
It's absolutely fantastic.
Oh, and did you catch "The Nine" right after? Best first episode of a series since LOST.
And since I'm talking good TV the only things to be watching right now are: LOST, The Nine, Battlestar Gallactica, Eureka, The 4400, My Name is Earl, Mythbusters, Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide, and Drake and Josh (for my kids of course).
What is the one thing all these shows prove? The new show Heroes really does suck.
Dang. Let me tell you how this show would have gone if I had been one of the survivors.
No way do I ever push the button. I open fire when the others hold Kate captive in the jungle that one night. I let Said torture the Other leader as much as he wants/needs too. I don't put my back against any wall or even talk to the chick holding me captive, and if I do when I make my escape she bites it and I flood the place.
Now the series would have lasted 1 episode but at least the suspense would be over! Stop playing games with us!!!!!!
It's absolutely fantastic.
Oh, and did you catch "The Nine" right after? Best first episode of a series since LOST.
And since I'm talking good TV the only things to be watching right now are: LOST, The Nine, Battlestar Gallactica, Eureka, The 4400, My Name is Earl, Mythbusters, Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide, and Drake and Josh (for my kids of course).
What is the one thing all these shows prove? The new show Heroes really does suck.
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Monday, October 02, 2006
All Naked First Episode of LOST!
That's right, it's time for a sports post!
Dateline Detroit:
Pistons: Ben "I'll stay here forever so get rid of Darko" Wallace leaves the Detroit Pistons after being a major part of their choke in the offseason.
Tigers: If you told me at the begginning of the season we'd be a Wild Card team I'd have been overwhelmed. If you'd told me they'd lead their division since May and then lose it in the 12th inning of the last game and the only long standing record they'd set is to be swept by Kansas City for the first time in 26 years, I would have sent them a crate of steroids.
Lions: Not only does this team tank my real life hopes every year but they now crush my fantasy sports life also. The Lions mangaged in the last 2 minutes of Sunday's game to not only lose the real game but take me from a 1 pt. lead in my fantasy lead to a 12 pt. deficit.
RedWings: Not too much disappointment here... yet.
THEREFORE, I am in search of a new sports town to call home. The leading picks are:
Chicago: I hate everything about Chicago sports but... it's where Pistons go to die, they have 2 baseball teams to hope for, and their football team takes less than 60 years to rebuild.
Cincinatti: The Bengals look cool, the Reds are fairly consistent, but they have no NBA team. Oh, and I really like the zoo.
Pittsburgh: I'm already a Steelers fan from living their for awhile, so I'm not all bandwagon, thier baseball team has no money so they never fail to meet expectations, and the Penguins tend to have good years every once in a while. Still no NBA but I love perogies.
So let me know who I should pick. Or put in you choice.
End of Sports Blog.
Dateline Detroit:
Pistons: Ben "I'll stay here forever so get rid of Darko" Wallace leaves the Detroit Pistons after being a major part of their choke in the offseason.
Tigers: If you told me at the begginning of the season we'd be a Wild Card team I'd have been overwhelmed. If you'd told me they'd lead their division since May and then lose it in the 12th inning of the last game and the only long standing record they'd set is to be swept by Kansas City for the first time in 26 years, I would have sent them a crate of steroids.
Lions: Not only does this team tank my real life hopes every year but they now crush my fantasy sports life also. The Lions mangaged in the last 2 minutes of Sunday's game to not only lose the real game but take me from a 1 pt. lead in my fantasy lead to a 12 pt. deficit.
RedWings: Not too much disappointment here... yet.
THEREFORE, I am in search of a new sports town to call home. The leading picks are:
Chicago: I hate everything about Chicago sports but... it's where Pistons go to die, they have 2 baseball teams to hope for, and their football team takes less than 60 years to rebuild.
Cincinatti: The Bengals look cool, the Reds are fairly consistent, but they have no NBA team. Oh, and I really like the zoo.
Pittsburgh: I'm already a Steelers fan from living their for awhile, so I'm not all bandwagon, thier baseball team has no money so they never fail to meet expectations, and the Penguins tend to have good years every once in a while. Still no NBA but I love perogies.
So let me know who I should pick. Or put in you choice.
End of Sports Blog.
Friday, September 29, 2006
Masterpiece Theater
Today I shall expound on the beauty and depth of the new album Straight Out of Lynwood by Mr. Al Yankovic.
The album starts with the gansta theme White and Nerdy. A classic Mr. Yankovic parody and a song that hits a little too close to home.
We then have a wondeful tribute to an organ long overdue a theme: The Pancreas.
Several love songs including Close But No Cigar which misses it's mark is more than made up for by classical love balads Do I Creep You Out and Confessions Part III. All guaranteed to get you dumped quickly if sung to your special Juliet with lines like, "Every time I shake your hand I want to stick your fingers in my mouth" and "I'm sorry Julie... I mean Bridget!".
The traditional pop-polka is a masterpiece of uninteligiable lyrics set to the awe inspiring notes of the accordian and your children will love the soon to be child's classic, Weasel Stomping Day, with real weasel squishing sounds.
Also for the young ones is the moral inducing songs Don't Download This Song, the first of the albums songs I was able to hear off Kazza, I'll Sue Ya, and Virus Alert.
Finally, we have the 15 minute magnum opus of repetitive conversation, Trapped in the Drive-Thru, which will ruin R. Kelly's career.
And if I wasn't sure this was the Great One's best piece of art yet, we have Canadian Idiot, in which, among other things, an artist finally has the courage to take on the "beer swilling hocky nut frostbitten hoseheads" of the north and call for a premptive strike.
Don't download this album or you'll miss the amazing surround sound and DVD extras which are priceless.
Thank You, and goodnight.
The album starts with the gansta theme White and Nerdy. A classic Mr. Yankovic parody and a song that hits a little too close to home.
We then have a wondeful tribute to an organ long overdue a theme: The Pancreas.
Several love songs including Close But No Cigar which misses it's mark is more than made up for by classical love balads Do I Creep You Out and Confessions Part III. All guaranteed to get you dumped quickly if sung to your special Juliet with lines like, "Every time I shake your hand I want to stick your fingers in my mouth" and "I'm sorry Julie... I mean Bridget!".
The traditional pop-polka is a masterpiece of uninteligiable lyrics set to the awe inspiring notes of the accordian and your children will love the soon to be child's classic, Weasel Stomping Day, with real weasel squishing sounds.
Also for the young ones is the moral inducing songs Don't Download This Song, the first of the albums songs I was able to hear off Kazza, I'll Sue Ya, and Virus Alert.
Finally, we have the 15 minute magnum opus of repetitive conversation, Trapped in the Drive-Thru, which will ruin R. Kelly's career.
And if I wasn't sure this was the Great One's best piece of art yet, we have Canadian Idiot, in which, among other things, an artist finally has the courage to take on the "beer swilling hocky nut frostbitten hoseheads" of the north and call for a premptive strike.
Don't download this album or you'll miss the amazing surround sound and DVD extras which are priceless.
Thank You, and goodnight.
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Heros
Or is that "heroes"? I never get the difference.
Anyway, did anyone catch this on NBC on Monday night? What'd ya think?
It was okay. It seemed like it was trying to hard to be LOST. It even had the dead chick from LOST that I just couldn't see as this new character.
Things I liked: The Japanese kid, the scary father of the Cheerleader, the Indian prof., the LOST chick's "superpower"
Things I didn't like: The flying dudes storyline, the bad effects in the flying scene, the feel of the filming like I'm watching a cheap movie, LOST chick acting just like she did as LOST chick.
Verdict: Not a "must see" but a "will watch again".
Anyway, did anyone catch this on NBC on Monday night? What'd ya think?
It was okay. It seemed like it was trying to hard to be LOST. It even had the dead chick from LOST that I just couldn't see as this new character.
Things I liked: The Japanese kid, the scary father of the Cheerleader, the Indian prof., the LOST chick's "superpower"
Things I didn't like: The flying dudes storyline, the bad effects in the flying scene, the feel of the filming like I'm watching a cheap movie, LOST chick acting just like she did as LOST chick.
Verdict: Not a "must see" but a "will watch again".
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Time Waster Tuesday
If you like comics or pop culture in general here's a timewaster.
www.fanboyradio.libsyn.com/
www.fanboyradio.libsyn.com/
Monday, September 25, 2006
Rant!
Okay, so our area government wanted to impose a second income tax to raise money to improve and update the emergency call services of our county. They got it put on the last ballot and it was quickly rejected by the voters. The general feeling being, "YOU GET ENOUGH OF OUR MONEY!!!!! CUT SOME WASTE IF YOU WANT MORE AVAILABLE FUNDS!!!! YOU SCUMBALLS!"
So what do I hear on the news this morning? Well, we are now getting an Emergency Call Athourity which within it's charter allows for them to be funded by adding a tax to all phone bills. And that doesn't need to be voted on. Lovely.
Look, why even vote. If it doesn't go the way of those in charge they just vote on it over and over and over until they find a way to phrase it or create enough fear so it does pass or they just go around the peoples will all together.
Me, I'm just going to start saving up crates of tea in hopes of one day using it at a party.
So what do I hear on the news this morning? Well, we are now getting an Emergency Call Athourity which within it's charter allows for them to be funded by adding a tax to all phone bills. And that doesn't need to be voted on. Lovely.
Look, why even vote. If it doesn't go the way of those in charge they just vote on it over and over and over until they find a way to phrase it or create enough fear so it does pass or they just go around the peoples will all together.
Me, I'm just going to start saving up crates of tea in hopes of one day using it at a party.
Sunday, September 17, 2006
Vacation Week
My wife's father passed away this weekend so we will be away for a week. Keep her and her family in your prayers.
Friday, September 15, 2006
Health Alert!
It seems e-coli has broken out inside bags of fresh spinach. They can't figure out exactly where it's originating so, to all 6 of you in the nation who eat fresh spinach, be on alert.
In related news, regular reader Olive has asked for our help in finding her missing boyfriend. So if you've seen this man, please let me know.
In related news, regular reader Olive has asked for our help in finding her missing boyfriend. So if you've seen this man, please let me know.
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Fair and Impartial
BAGHDAD, Iraq (AP) - The chief judge in Saddam Hussein's genocide trial said Thursday that he does not believe Saddam was a dictator.
Judge Abdullah al-Amiri made the remark in a friendly exchange with the deposed leader, a day after the prosecution said the judge should step down because he is biased toward the defense. Saddam and his co-defendants are being tried on charges of committing atrocities against Kurds in northern Iraq nearly two decades ago.
Questioning a Kurdish witness Thursday, Saddam said, "I wonder why this man wanted to meet with me, if I am a dictator?"
The judge interrupted: "You were not a dictator. People around you made you (look like) a dictator."
"Thank you," Saddam responded, bowing his head in respect.
Ahhh... that's so nice. And they say civility hasn't returned to Iraq. If only some other judges had been so wise and understanding.
"Mr. Simpson, you don't seem to have a violent bone in your body. It was the people around you making you look gulity."
"Mr. Dahmer, you seem like a healthy polite young man. People just don't understand special dietary needs."
"Mr. DC Sniper, your not a killer. The people around you just got in your way."
Judge Abdullah al-Amiri made the remark in a friendly exchange with the deposed leader, a day after the prosecution said the judge should step down because he is biased toward the defense. Saddam and his co-defendants are being tried on charges of committing atrocities against Kurds in northern Iraq nearly two decades ago.
Questioning a Kurdish witness Thursday, Saddam said, "I wonder why this man wanted to meet with me, if I am a dictator?"
The judge interrupted: "You were not a dictator. People around you made you (look like) a dictator."
"Thank you," Saddam responded, bowing his head in respect.
Ahhh... that's so nice. And they say civility hasn't returned to Iraq. If only some other judges had been so wise and understanding.
"Mr. Simpson, you don't seem to have a violent bone in your body. It was the people around you making you look gulity."
"Mr. Dahmer, you seem like a healthy polite young man. People just don't understand special dietary needs."
"Mr. DC Sniper, your not a killer. The people around you just got in your way."
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Not On Wednesday
Due to my consistently busy Wednesday schedule I won't be blogging on this day this year. However, what a great chance for guest bloggers! So if you have something you want to say to my vast audience let me know and the spot is yours.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Time Waster Tuesday
If you like American Idol and Karaoke today is for you...
http://www.singshot.com/index.html
http://www.singshot.com/index.html
Monday, September 11, 2006
9-11
I don't know if I've ever done a serious blog but I couldn't get by this.
I don't know about you but I just can't bring myself up to watch or listen to any of the 24hr 9-11 retrospectives and movies. Is it because I'd just rather be entertained than depressed? I know those who've seen movies like Flight 93 say it's not depressing but inspiring. But, I just don't know.
I still remember vividly coming into work that day and hearing on the radio about the first plane and thinking "what a terrible accident". Then the second plane hit and everything changed. I guess I'm not watching much of the coverage for roughly the same reason I've never seen Passion of the Christ. I get it. I know the meaning. I know the reality I don't need Hollywood to re-enact it for me. I don't need to watch endless video of the day or hear all the horrible audio to remind me of what happened.
Simply stated, I remember.
I don't know about you but I just can't bring myself up to watch or listen to any of the 24hr 9-11 retrospectives and movies. Is it because I'd just rather be entertained than depressed? I know those who've seen movies like Flight 93 say it's not depressing but inspiring. But, I just don't know.
I still remember vividly coming into work that day and hearing on the radio about the first plane and thinking "what a terrible accident". Then the second plane hit and everything changed. I guess I'm not watching much of the coverage for roughly the same reason I've never seen Passion of the Christ. I get it. I know the meaning. I know the reality I don't need Hollywood to re-enact it for me. I don't need to watch endless video of the day or hear all the horrible audio to remind me of what happened.
Simply stated, I remember.
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