Cartoon Carnage

Yes, don't you just love alliteritive headlines like mine today? Well, editors must because the headlines for the Islamic "outrage" over Dutch cartoons has been great fun. Not only did I see "Cartoon Carnage" but also "Cartoon Crisis". It makes it sound like Wolverine had run amok killing Archie and Jughead and following it up with a barbecue with Garfield as the main course. So to help these editors out I came up with a few more cute headlines for the chaos:
Muhammed Madness
Paneled Peril
Dutch Dorks
Press Pickle
Cartoon Craziness
Irrational Islamisism
Freakin Freedom
Headline Heaven

Here's what I thought was a good serious take on it (can't remember where it came from I'd just saved it, so if you know please give credit):
The good people of Denmark never knew what hit them, and they still don't know why. They keep mumbling to themselves, "Why us? We're tolerant, understanding, liberal, reasonable people. Why do they hate us? I thought they only hated pushy, arrogant, empirical power-mongers. We're none of those things."
"Yeah, but you ran a cartoon they didn't like."
"Well sure, but it was only a cartoon. I mean, we do believe in freedom of expression. But we're liberal, reasonable, tolerant, non-judgmental people."
"Yeah, but you ran a cartoon they didn't like."
"I know, but it was only a cartoon. We didn't try to restrict any of their freedoms or put them in jail, or take away any of their privileges or deny them anything we have. We're reasonable and liberal and tolerant and non-violent."
"Yeah, but you ran a cartoon they didn't like."
"Why do you keep repeating that? Haven't I already told you that it's just a cartoon? It doesn't hurt them or repress them or anything. It's just one man's opinion, expressed by a cartoon in a newspaper!"
"Yeah, but you ran a cartoon they didn't like."
"Will you stop saying that! I know that. How in the name of sanity does that justify burning our flags, setting our embassies on fire and threaten our lives?"
"Well, my good liberal Danish friend, it is no more complicated than this. These are people who address every grievance with violence and terror. It is what they have been taught to do. It is what they do, and you cannot reason with them. Watch this."
"We don't want apologies. We will not accept apologies. We want war. We want his hands cut off."
"Who was that? Was that one of Bin Laden's guys?"
"No, that was a Muslim cleric in your country, a leader of the 'regular folks' as Bill O'Reilly would call them."
"Who?"
"Never mind."
"So what are you telling me - that there's nothing we can do to stop this violence?"
"Don't look at me. You started it."
"What? We started it. How did we start it?"
"You ran a cartoon they didn't like."