Translation Please

I love politician speak. The ability to make something slimy and crooked sound innocent and harmless. Take for example the opening paragraph of this article:

"Members of Congress are rushing to amend their travel and campaign records, fearing that the controversy over House Majority Leader Tom DeLay will trigger an ethics war that will bring greater scrutiny to their own travel and official activities."

Let me offer this translation:

"Members of Congress (our official criminals) are rushing (panicking) to amend (forge) their travel (vacation) and campaign (money laundering) records, fearing that the controversy (attempted hit) over House Majority Leader (rival Godfather) Tom DeLay will trigger an ethics war (retaliatory strike) that will bring greater scrutiny to (expose outside the mainstream media) their own travel (vacation) and official activities (criminal acts)."

Just to overemphasis the point here is the straight translation:

"Our official criminals are panicking to forge their vacation and money laundering records fearing that the attempted hit on rival Godfather Tom Delay will trigger a retaliatory strike that will expose, outside the mainstream media, their own vacations and criminal acts."

So remember, don't try to read the news without first learning the language.