Hmmm...

They really need to make some changes to this Christian thing. I mean they are so far behind the times. For instance, they still meet on Sunday's. I mean that's a day I need to get ready for football and it's a chance to sleep in, they need to start meeting on Tuesday nights (except during the NBA season). And what's with the Bible as a guide thing? Can't we just follow Hitchhickers Guide to the Galaxy? It's much more entertaining and would probably offend less people. And I really don't want to follow that Jesus guy he's old news. They even believe in absolutes! I think that needs to be up to me to decide. Finally, who still believes in God? They really need to change some of this because I really like calling myself a Christian and playing on thier softball teams. If they don't I'm going to be one angry Christian until they become more like me. Besides, I know I'm not an atheist.


(Satire in honor of Liberal Catholics everywhere)