Stay Out of My Stall

Ok, so a Senator with a wide stance is in trouble for reaching under a bathroom stall and touching feet with the guy next door. Great, not only has the government made it impossible for me to have an intern without feeling dirty but it has managed to ruin my ability to use public bathrooms. Is it time for the revolution yet?

Hey, Did You Hear About The Blond...

I love this story. Lauren Caitlin Upton, Miss South Carolina Teen USA, was asked this question at the pagent... "Recent polls have shown a fifth of Americans can't locate the United States on a world map. Why do you think this is?"

Her answer?

"I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some people out there in our nation don't have maps, and, uh, I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and, uh, the Iraq everywhere like, such as and I believe that they should, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., er, should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future for our children."

Hey, I have in-laws in South Carolina. Just a random fact I thought I'd include.

Better Answers Lauren Could Have Used:

1) I like cheese.

2) Four score and seven years ago...

3) I just think all Americans are stupid.

4) Canadians suck!

5) I've got a crush on Obama.

6) Look, just tell me who I have to sleep with to win this thing.

7) Where am I? Why am I here?

8) I've found Jesus and will try to redeem myself.

9) Just drooled.

10) Hulk Smash!

Time Waster Tuesday

In honor of The 44oo season ender and the start of Heros... today's timewaster.

Make sure you post your result on my Facebook question section!

In the News

Don't panic folks! I know, I know, it's unfair, cruel, and senseless, but we just have to accept it. The Fox Network show, "Anchorwomen", was canceled after one show! But, don't worry you can still get the stunning conclusion of the series on their website. So, breath easy.

In other news...
It seems man's transition from ape took place six or seven million years earlier than thought. I really wish these scientist would make up their mind and I wish they could determine things within more than a million years. What ever test they use are sure unspecific. Oh, and buried in the article is this little phrase, ""We know nothing about how the human line actually emerged from apes," the authors of the paper noted. Hmm... sounds like a story that should be covered by Anchorwomen.

Wii'd Like to Break Your Arm

A Japanese game maker said Wednesday it would withdraw arm-wrestling machines from arcades after three players broke their arms. Sweet! That could be a whole new aspect for the Wii. Some game ideas.

Karate Kid: In this game you try to see how many virtual cement blocks you can break with various parts of your body with real damage done to your body parts.

Stuntman Supreme: You participate in various hollywood stunts and if you fail you are set on fire, crushed, cut, etc.

Sumo: You play the part of a Sumo Wrestler, complete with diaper, and face a giant, virtual, weight accurate dummy opponent.

Lightning Rod: See how many bolts of lightning you can catch before you pass out from the high level current running through the controller.

2000 Year Old Fact Revealed!

It's the big political news story of the day... Michelle Obama: "One of the most important things that we need to know about the next President of the United States is, is he somebody that shares our values? Is he somebody that respects family? Is a good and decent person? So our view was that, if you can't run your own house, you certainly can't run the White House."


Gasp! How can she make this kind of claim? Is this some slam against Hillary? What a brand new revolutionary thought! Where does she find this kind of wisdom? How outlandish!



Maybe she heard it here.

Time Waster Tuesday

Today's time waster's are in honor of Michael Vick. Make sure to try them all.
(If you're reading this from Facebook follow the links to my main blog page to get the links. It's worth the effort!)

Ahhhh...
Ehhhhh....
ARGGHHHH....

Getting Pooped On

So I was really bored yesterday and there was nothing on TV until I flipped by "Dirty Jobs" on the discovery channel. I'd never seen it but got hooked on the stupid host just going from one messy job to another. He was working in a dam, and a snake farm, and laying railroad trusses, and cleaning bell towers, etc. It was pretty entertaining.
Then they went to what was called "Vomit Island". An island off the West Coast, I believe, where they had done bomb test in WWII and now was 80 acres of bird sanctuary. It seems the birds, when threathened, regurgitate fish and poop on the threats below. Once a year people from the Fish and Wildlife Department and some Enviornmental group go out and tag the birds and count the nest. Why? "So if they die in Canada or Mexico we'll know where they are from and so we can know what kind of effect the birds have on the island."
SO FREAKING WHAT!!?!!?!?!?!?!? This is what we are spending money on in this country? Have we really gotten this rich? Someone tell me one more time why we need to increase taxes because we don't have enough for essential services?
So what did I take away from this episode? I learned you don't have to go to Vomit Island to get pooped on.

30 Years Ago today...

...Elvis left the building. Audiences of his time had never before heard music like Presley played or seen performances like Presley gave. Roy Orbison said upon seeing early Elvis, "There was just no reference point in the culture to compare [him]." Elvis became his own film genre, a modern day icon, the lifelong addiction of millions, and the inspiration for hundreds of artist. I admit back when I was a kid one of the albums I got with the Columbia Record Clubs one cent choice was a Best Of Elvis album. I loved it. I'll still stop the scan on the radio for a good Elvis song. I also admit feeling nostalgic for the days when shaking your hips a little was enough to be called controversial. However, about 12 years ago I took some kids to inner city Memphis where we worked in some of the projects Elvis lived in and walked where Elvis walked among the jazz clubs on Beale St. Elvis's influences hung heavy in the air. And yet when asked if they'd rather go see Graceland or hit a special exhibit on the Titanic for their "fun" day, the teens unanamously chose the Titanic exhibit. Is it possible that after 30 years Elvis is finally getting ready to really leave the building? I guess I kinda hope not. In honor of the King of Rock and Roll take some time to read his Wikiipeida entry. It's a real fun look at a whole different time and world. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elvis_Presely

It Might...

I'm so sick of "news" stories about windy parts of the ocean that MIGHT turn into hurricanes, which MIGHT hit your part of the country, and MIGHT kill your children, and MIGHT take jobs that Americans won't do. I've got some other stories we might as well report... "Wind May Become Tornado" "Rains this Fall May Cause Floods" "Criminals in Area May Cause Crime" "News Organizations Might Report News " (Okay, that one's a little far fetched.)

Remember...

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Full Alert, eh?
The Mariner Moose tried to kill Coco Crisp. No it's not a gang fight between Cereal Mascots, it's and actual Major League Baseball story. Find the story here.
It seems the Moose took his little 4 wheeler and tried to gun poor Coco down. Now, the Moose isn't even going to be fired?!?! Do you know why? Cause he's from Seattle and Seattle is near... CANADA! The Great White North has devoured our borders and obviously annexed Seattle. Now at least we haven't lost and important state, but it's a state none the less. How long are we going to put up with these unguarded borders where Mooses, a Canadian creature, can freely roam our baseball fields trying to run over good, upstanding, citizens like Coco Crisp?I've been telling you for years if you are a reader of my previous blog site of the dangers of paying to much attention to our Southern boarder when the true threat is from the Hockey playing, bacon inhaling, snow ridden, neighbors to our North.Who will be next before we stop the maddness? Toucan Sam? Sugar Bear? The Trix Rabbit? Or, God forbid, Snap! Crackle! and Pop!It's time to wake up people.

Moving Day?

I'm going to attempt to do my blog through my Facebook site. So sign up for a Facebook account and check it out.