So, they put on "Good Morning America" in the gym I work out in in the mornings. My guess is they do this to get you good and angry so you can work out harder. Anyway, here was their lead up blurb to an upcoming "report".
"So if every human on earth dissappeard how long would it take for Mother Nature to reclaim what is hers? How long would it take for her to fix all we have destroyed? A new book takes a look at this intriguing question." This was done over pictures of the Statue of Liberty and smoke stacks because we know it's only the US that Mother Nature is ticked at (What's with the mother nature thing? Is it a secular version of Intelligent Design theory?)
First of all, is there a chance this is gonna happen? Do they have some inside information that ALL humans are about to "disappear"? What meaning does this story have for me and my day? Am I supposed to prepare for disappearing? And since when do we start covering fictional book events as real life news? Will we start covering Fantasy Football scores on ABC's sports reports soon? My guess is there were no good real fear stories to cover so it was time to go with the made up ones.
So I thought of some other good fictional stories the professional reporters down at "Good Morning America" need to cover:
1) If the Martians attack which of their foods will prevent heart disease?
2) If the sun goes out tomorrow how many batteries will we be needing?
3) How will we prevent rioting during the Lions Superbowl win?
4) What do you do with a coach of a college ranked Big 10 team who losses too a division 2 school at home? (What's that? This happened?)
5) If all the trees turn blue tommorow how will it affect the fashion industry?
6) If pigs begin to fly will they be classified as birds?
7) If the Flash and his clone enter the Boston Marathon who wins?
8) If a Hillary becomes President how long till we have world peace?
9) If all our milk turns instantly to gasoline which cow should you be driving?
10) If we started reporting real stories how long till we could get our credibility back?
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2 comments:
The Flash is faster than thought. The Flash is faster than light. The Flash is faster than TIME ITSELF. Obviously, The Flash is faster than his own clone. The truth is, THE FLASH IS FASTER THAN EVEN HIMSELF!
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