What If...

It was Jesus?


Jesus pleads guilty to DUI in plea deal
WASHINGTON (AP) - Already under the prying eye of the media, Jesus now finds himself being watched by the courts as well.
By pleading guilty to driving under the influence of prescription drugs, Jesus ensured that court officials will closely monitor every step of his recovery - from weekly Alcoholics Anonymous meetings to random urine screenings for drug abuse to sessions with his AA sponsor and his doctor.
"I've always said that I wanted to accept full responsibility for my actions," Jesus, D-R.I., said outside the District of Columbia courthouse Tuesday amid a swarm of reporters and television cameras. "Today in court, I did just that. I accepted the consequences of my actions."
Alongside his lawyer, the Son of God, D-Mass., appeared before District of Columbia Superior Court Magistrate Judge Aida Melendez and pleaded guilty to the one DUI charge. Melendez sentenced him to court-ordered drug treatment and a year's probation.
Jesus also has to meet regularly with a "qualified psychiatrist to monitor mood symptoms, anxiety and use of psychotropic prescription medications," according to court documents. Aides said he will lose his driving privileges in Washington for six months.
Jesus notified the Rhode Island division of motor vehicles Tuesday about the D.C. revocation and expects his Rhode Island license will also be revoked, aides said.
D.C. Attorney General Robert Spagnoletti said the agreement was fair and in the best interests of the district. "Jesus has been treated like any other citizen found guilty of driving under the influence, and he will be expected to comply with the conditions of his probation," Spagnoletti said in a written statement.