Friday, November 11, 2005

Consumer Beware

If there's one thing I've noticed there are just not enough warning labels on products. I mean we've put them on dangerous things like rat poison, draino, asprin, and pillows but there is nothing on a product that I'm sure has injured millions world wide and almost killed my youngest son. Of course I'm referring to ...marshmellows.
Now, given, by youngest is what you call slightly accident prone. This means he runs into walls, trips over grass, jumps into the path of golf clubs, and does some serious damage to himself while eating jello. But that's no excuse to not warn responsible parents about marshmellows.

The phone rings while my boys are at a party:
Mom: Hello? Uh-huh. Let me guess, Skyler. Is he all right?
Me: Sky's hurt?
Mom: Of course.
Me: How?
Mom: Marshmellow.
Me: Ok.

You know you're kid is really accident prone when you recieve an emergency phone call telling you your kid has been seriously hurt by a marshmellow and it doesn't even phase you.
How did this happen? Well, it seems he was roasting a marshmellow at a bonfire when it caught fire and as he raised it to blow it out he flicked it onto his face which severly burned his cheek, nose, and chin as it slowly crawled on fire down his face.
Sure he's prone to this but I'm still suing for damages. Think of the permanent mental damage let alone the physical damage if nothing else. The embarassment as he curls up in a fetal position when offered a smore, His irrational fear of snow, and his inability to watch Ghostbusters without terribe nightmares.
So a word of advice... friends don't let friends do marshmellows.

7 comments:

shannoncaroland said...

so when you write a post mocking your own son, is that an invitation to the rest of us to do the same? 'Cuz man, if it is, I'm gonna bring it.

Barry said...

Bring it man! I'd be more than willing to rip on your kids if it wasn't for that thing that happened... ya no what I'm talking about?

ejs said...

While I am so sorry about your son, I am even more sorry for this.

Barry said...

NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

shannoncaroland said...

What?! First Touched by an Angel, now 7th Heven?! Why do they hate us?

Anonymous said...

wow.. I'm not sure whether I should think that's hilarious or not.

James said...

Hope Sky is feeling better.

Sorry you got the two-fisted pain of Skyler's accident and then the cancelling of Arrested Development!

I just finished season 1 this weekend and started on season 2. Why is your eldest son cancelling it?