Time Waster Tuesday

For all those who loved playing Cowboys and Indians as kids here is the Christmas site for you.
Don't put your eye out!
Backyard Artillery.

10 Word Reviews

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
New title: Harry Potter and the Cup of Convoluted Crap

Chicken Little
No better or worse than Bugs Bunny. Made kids laugh.

Stay
Unique idea. Had me thinking afterward. Obi-wan can actually act!

Zathura
Jumanji in space. What an easy way to make money.

Superman Preview
Is there a better hero than Superman? Spit curl though?

Jonah Hex Showcase Edition
If you're a western fan buy it! 500 pages $15!

Blog Comic Strip
Too right wing. Too political. Not very funny. Updated daily!

Frankenmuth
Germans are making a good start making up for WWII.

Thanksgiving
Great food, but gotta sell some family... way too big.

The Lions
Suck. Suck. Suck. Suck. Suck. Suck. Suck. Suck. Suck. Suck. Suck. Suck. Suck. ( I know it's more than 10 words, but it's needed.)

On Vacation

Back in a week. Enjoy this comic thing... I don't know what I think of it yet.

Torture? What Torture?

It seems the Iraqis are at it again. They are being accused of torturing prisoners. Their defense? "Torture? We haven't beheaded anyone!"
So let's have a little primer on rules the US has on prisoners vs. what the Iraqis rules seem to be.

US: All prisoners must be allowed to pray.
Iraq: All prisoners will be made to pray.

US: All prisoners will be given catered meals structured to Islam
Iraq: All prisoners may be fed their own entrails

US: All prisoners will recieve regular visits from a doctor
Iraq: All prisoners will recieve regular visits from "the doctor" (wink, wink)

US: All prisoners will be treated with respect
Iraq: All prisoners will be allowed to keep a few fingers

US: Anyone found abusing prisoners will be punished
Iraq: Hey, we haven't beheaded nobody!

US: We will afford non-americans the rights of americans even if it means we may not get information that will lead to the saving of americans.
Iraq: If you attack your own country you are no longer considered a countrymen and anything is fair game to save others.

Who's the extremists?

Job Change

It's finally been decided... I'm in the wrong job. How do I know? This "sculpture"...

Just sold for 23.8 million dollars! So, I will be quitting my job and soddering everything in my garage together and setting out to make my fortune. See you on E-bay.

P.S. I also rolled my cats in paint and threw them down the stairs onto a piece of canvas. Trust me, it's brilliant.

Consumer Beware

If there's one thing I've noticed there are just not enough warning labels on products. I mean we've put them on dangerous things like rat poison, draino, asprin, and pillows but there is nothing on a product that I'm sure has injured millions world wide and almost killed my youngest son. Of course I'm referring to ...marshmellows.
Now, given, by youngest is what you call slightly accident prone. This means he runs into walls, trips over grass, jumps into the path of golf clubs, and does some serious damage to himself while eating jello. But that's no excuse to not warn responsible parents about marshmellows.

The phone rings while my boys are at a party:
Mom: Hello? Uh-huh. Let me guess, Skyler. Is he all right?
Me: Sky's hurt?
Mom: Of course.
Me: How?
Mom: Marshmellow.
Me: Ok.

You know you're kid is really accident prone when you recieve an emergency phone call telling you your kid has been seriously hurt by a marshmellow and it doesn't even phase you.
How did this happen? Well, it seems he was roasting a marshmellow at a bonfire when it caught fire and as he raised it to blow it out he flicked it onto his face which severly burned his cheek, nose, and chin as it slowly crawled on fire down his face.
Sure he's prone to this but I'm still suing for damages. Think of the permanent mental damage let alone the physical damage if nothing else. The embarassment as he curls up in a fetal position when offered a smore, His irrational fear of snow, and his inability to watch Ghostbusters without terribe nightmares.
So a word of advice... friends don't let friends do marshmellows.

Lost with Lost?

So if you're watchin lost are the positives:
Great mystery, cool characters, cliffhangers, fantastic writing

Outweighing the negatives:
Confusing, nothing resolves, flashbacks of flashbacks, slower than a turtle?

For me? Not yet. I'm still enjoying it. But, this series definitely doesn't have legs and will burn out in a bad way I'm afraid. Too bad it's so popular because it's got no more than 3 seasons of good in it and that will be stretching it. As it heads into season 4 and 5 it will be horrid.

Time Waster Tuesday

Before we get to Time Waster Tuesday I once again must say... IF YOU ARE NOT WATCHING ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT YOU ARE MISSING THE BEST COMEDY SINCE SEINFELD!!!!!

And now... Elastic Baby.

Ooo Lah Lah

Well there is a major problem in the paradise that is France. It seems socialism doesn't make everyone happy or meet everyones needs... go figure. I had thought they would have made enough money off oil sales to Sadaam to end poverty. So, race, religious and socioeconomic based rioting has broken out in Paris and is spreading around the country. You'd think that since the French have had answers for all the US's problems they'd know how to handle this. But, the heart of their problem comes from one question they can't answer which has always been there rosetta stone in times of crisis... How do you retreat from yourself?

That Voodoo You Do

Well, it seems that in my rant a while back about not rebuilding New Orleans I left out one major cultural contribuition we would lose... Voodoo. Now, what would we be missing? Well according to this aritcle many things.

• Great sensitive quotes like this from Voodoo practitioners: "As of today I would say it's pretty dead".
• Expert tour guides who share what I'm sure is very factual information: "about 15 percent of the city's population actively practiced". WOW! That's alot of Voodoo and alot of dead chickens.
• Great good luck charms: "Some residents still sprinkle red brick dust on their doorway steps to ward off evil spirits." How'd that work out?
• Unique problems you can't have anywhere else: "If only she could find her snake for the closing ceremony. He was supposed to be in a bathtub of a friend's apartment. "
• Interesting understatements: The "go away" hurricane ritual was performed in July, just as it always is at the start of the hurricane season.
  "It didn't quite work out so well," acknowledged Giselle Moller, manager of Marie Laveau House of Voodoo.

So how can you help?

1) Encourage memorization with your children. It seems the younger generation has been lax to pick up voodoo because it's just so darn hard to learn.

2) Point out the benefits like...uh...well... cause ya can't just drink all day in New Orleans.

3) Remind people voodoo's not black magic, like the movies would have you believe, it's ritual magic... that doesn't work.

So I now declare tomorrow, Saturday Nov. 5th. National Voodoo Awareness Day. Go get your chickens.

...And Other Dangers

You may have seen the article on the minister from the South who was killed over the weekend when he reached for a microphone during a baptism and was electrocuted. Now, you may think the role of Clergyman is safe and only filled by girly-men. Let me tell you baptismal gloworm is not the only danger we face on a daily basis. Here's some others...

• Papercuts
• Forgeting to put down scissors before making the sign of the cross
• Slipping off a platform
• Falling podiums
• Potluck food poisonings
• Tipping over in chair
• Pew Paralysis
• and the ever possible stoning

Time Waster Tuesday

Enjoy!

Toonopedia