Masterpiece Theater

Today I shall expound on the beauty and depth of the new album Straight Out of Lynwood by Mr. Al Yankovic.
The album starts with the gansta theme White and Nerdy. A classic Mr. Yankovic parody and a song that hits a little too close to home.
We then have a wondeful tribute to an organ long overdue a theme: The Pancreas.
Several love songs including Close But No Cigar which misses it's mark is more than made up for by classical love balads Do I Creep You Out and Confessions Part III. All guaranteed to get you dumped quickly if sung to your special Juliet with lines like, "Every time I shake your hand I want to stick your fingers in my mouth" and "I'm sorry Julie... I mean Bridget!".
The traditional pop-polka is a masterpiece of uninteligiable lyrics set to the awe inspiring notes of the accordian and your children will love the soon to be child's classic, Weasel Stomping Day, with real weasel squishing sounds.
Also for the young ones is the moral inducing songs Don't Download This Song, the first of the albums songs I was able to hear off Kazza, I'll Sue Ya, and Virus Alert.
Finally, we have the 15 minute magnum opus of repetitive conversation, Trapped in the Drive-Thru, which will ruin R. Kelly's career.
And if I wasn't sure this was the Great One's best piece of art yet, we have Canadian Idiot, in which, among other things, an artist finally has the courage to take on the "beer swilling hocky nut frostbitten hoseheads" of the north and call for a premptive strike.
Don't download this album or you'll miss the amazing surround sound and DVD extras which are priceless.
Thank You, and goodnight.

Heros

Or is that "heroes"? I never get the difference.
Anyway, did anyone catch this on NBC on Monday night? What'd ya think?
It was okay. It seemed like it was trying to hard to be LOST. It even had the dead chick from LOST that I just couldn't see as this new character.
Things I liked: The Japanese kid, the scary father of the Cheerleader, the Indian prof., the LOST chick's "superpower"
Things I didn't like: The flying dudes storyline, the bad effects in the flying scene, the feel of the filming like I'm watching a cheap movie, LOST chick acting just like she did as LOST chick.
Verdict: Not a "must see" but a "will watch again".

Time Waster Tuesday

If you like comics or pop culture in general here's a timewaster.
www.fanboyradio.libsyn.com/

Rant!

Okay, so our area government wanted to impose a second income tax to raise money to improve and update the emergency call services of our county. They got it put on the last ballot and it was quickly rejected by the voters. The general feeling being, "YOU GET ENOUGH OF OUR MONEY!!!!! CUT SOME WASTE IF YOU WANT MORE AVAILABLE FUNDS!!!! YOU SCUMBALLS!"
So what do I hear on the news this morning? Well, we are now getting an Emergency Call Athourity which within it's charter allows for them to be funded by adding a tax to all phone bills. And that doesn't need to be voted on. Lovely.
Look, why even vote. If it doesn't go the way of those in charge they just vote on it over and over and over until they find a way to phrase it or create enough fear so it does pass or they just go around the peoples will all together.
Me, I'm just going to start saving up crates of tea in hopes of one day using it at a party.

Vacation Week

My wife's father passed away this weekend so we will be away for a week. Keep her and her family in your prayers.

Health Alert!

It seems e-coli has broken out inside bags of fresh spinach. They can't figure out exactly where it's originating so, to all 6 of you in the nation who eat fresh spinach, be on alert.
In related news, regular reader Olive has asked for our help in finding her missing boyfriend. So if you've seen this man, please let me know.

Fair and Impartial

BAGHDAD, Iraq (AP) - The chief judge in Saddam Hussein's genocide trial said Thursday that he does not believe Saddam was a dictator.
Judge Abdullah al-Amiri made the remark in a friendly exchange with the deposed leader, a day after the prosecution said the judge should step down because he is biased toward the defense. Saddam and his co-defendants are being tried on charges of committing atrocities against Kurds in northern Iraq nearly two decades ago.
Questioning a Kurdish witness Thursday, Saddam said, "I wonder why this man wanted to meet with me, if I am a dictator?"
The judge interrupted: "You were not a dictator. People around you made you (look like) a dictator."
"Thank you," Saddam responded, bowing his head in respect.

Ahhh... that's so nice. And they say civility hasn't returned to Iraq. If only some other judges had been so wise and understanding.

"Mr. Simpson, you don't seem to have a violent bone in your body. It was the people around you making you look gulity."

"Mr. Dahmer, you seem like a healthy polite young man. People just don't understand special dietary needs."

"Mr. DC Sniper, your not a killer. The people around you just got in your way."

Not On Wednesday

Due to my consistently busy Wednesday schedule I won't be blogging on this day this year. However, what a great chance for guest bloggers! So if you have something you want to say to my vast audience let me know and the spot is yours.

Time Waster Tuesday

If you like American Idol and Karaoke today is for you...
http://www.singshot.com/index.html

9-11

I don't know if I've ever done a serious blog but I couldn't get by this.
I don't know about you but I just can't bring myself up to watch or listen to any of the 24hr 9-11 retrospectives and movies. Is it because I'd just rather be entertained than depressed? I know those who've seen movies like Flight 93 say it's not depressing but inspiring. But, I just don't know.
I still remember vividly coming into work that day and hearing on the radio about the first plane and thinking "what a terrible accident". Then the second plane hit and everything changed. I guess I'm not watching much of the coverage for roughly the same reason I've never seen Passion of the Christ. I get it. I know the meaning. I know the reality I don't need Hollywood to re-enact it for me. I don't need to watch endless video of the day or hear all the horrible audio to remind me of what happened.
Simply stated, I remember.

To Meekly Stay Where Everyone Has Stayed Before

It seems that billionaire Richard Branson has offered William "Captain Kirk" Shatner a free trip on the maiden voyage of his private space shuttle Galactic, but the good Captain has refused.
So is it because he doesn't want to give Branson free publicity? Nope.
Is he sick of his Captain Kirk persona? Nope.
Does he think it might tarnish the memory of his role as T.J. Hooker? Nope.
In Shatner's own words, "I'm interested in man's march into the unknown but to vomit in space is not my idea of a good time. Neither is a fiery crash with the vomit hovering over me." Now that's a vote of confidence for privately funded space flight.
How unlike Alien's Sigourney Weaver who has already booked her place on the two-and-a-half hour flight. I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that the mama Alien crashes out of a storage closet mid-flight and brings it down in a fiery crash and continues a bloody rampage across the earth. Then we'll all see that Bill's not scared he's just smart.

Shows You Need to be Watching

Catch these in the new season or in repeats:
Lost
Battlestar Galactica
Eureka!
Mythbusters
Who Wants To Be A Superhero (Last episode was terrible though)
My Name Is Earl

Please add to the list, I'm looking for a few more to TIVO.

Shot Through the Heart

... and you're to blame! Baby, you give stingrays a bad name.
Ok a couple things about the death of the Crocodile Hunter:
1) Was anyone really surprised?
2) I'm sure it wasn't "they way he'd want to have gone". Unless he'd always thought "I'd like to be punctured through the heart by a stingray on camera with my 8 year old watching." Crikey!
But, it was an appropriate death for a guy who's job was wrestling dangerous animals. So it got me thinking, what kind of death would be "they way they wanted to go" for other occupations?

Clergy: Crucifiction or drug overdose (stoned).
Lawyers: Crushed under a defective bookshelf full of legal textbooks.
MovieStars: Sent into an epyleptic shock by the strobe flashes of a million Paparzzis at their big premiere.
PopStar: Quirk wardrobe malfunction.
Politicion: A porkbarrel bridge in their home district collapses while they drive across it to a fund raising event.
Major League Baseball Player: Heart explodes after hitting their 233 homerun of the season using the new untracable "performance enhancer".
Blogger: Sleep deprivation due to reading the unlimited response to his lastest blog.

Best Things About Fall

1) My time becomes more structured and I can blog again!
2) Lost and Battlestar Galatica are about to start new seasons
3) Great weird new movies. All the stuff they have laying around they don't know what to do with. Ie. "The Illusionist"
4) Cooler weather!
5) Fantasy Football (Real thing not that good)
And... nope that's about it.

NEW BLOGS TO BE COMING REGULARLY!