It seems Wisconsin has a major problem... feral cats. Now I'm not sure I know exactly what a feral cat is, and the people dealing with them in Wisconsin haven't been able to give a good definition, but from what I gather they are a little bigger than the average housecat and a little smaller than a Sherman tank. It seems these gigantic stray cats are breeding uncontroably and causing general mahem, like tipping over trash cans, running up large credit card bills, and playing pool. But mainly they are eating birds. Lots and lots of birds. Now I know you're thinking, "This is an easy problem to solve: Kill the cats. I mean how easy would it be to find some proffessional cat killers? Heck, amateur ones would be a dime a dozen." (On a similar note check out this link)
But, here is the problem... animal rights activist. Cat loving animal rights activist and bird loving animal rights activist. The bird side is wanting the cats to die to save the birds and the cat side is willing to let the birds die to save the cats. Now you see the crisis.
WHY THE HECK WON'T ANIMALS RESPECT OTHER ANIMALS! IT'S INHUMANE!
I'm at a loss. Please post your suggestions before we lose all the benefits Wisconsin brings to our union. Like cheese, and uh... uh... well there's... Hey! They're a good buffer zone between civilization and Canada!
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3 comments:
I think we should round these cats up, and use them to test new products before we injest them. Forget rats, let's see how these mutant cats take hairspray in the face.
Also, find a struggling Chinese restaurant and donate the cats. I am sure they can find something to do with them.
Hey, Jeremy are you... CANANDIAN?
Everything you wanted to know about Feral Cats (Wiki Rocks) including the fact that October 16th is NATIONAL FERAL CAT DAY! There is much lobbying for a NATIONAL BIRDS ATE BY FERAL CATS DAY but as yet our leaders in Washington have not signed off on a day. As you can imagine, this is a deeply partisan issue drawing much bile and vitriol from our leadership for the obvious historical reasons.
[PLEASE DUST OFF YOUR ERNIE HARWELL VOICE]
So with one away and bases loaded at the bottom of the 5th, the Feral Cats lead the Dead Birds by 1 to 0.
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