I'm Just Not Chicken of Chickens

Look, I know I'm supposed to be scared of the bird flu that is ravaging Asia with like 8 deaths, but calling it the "bird flu" with accompaning pictures of chickens just doesn't do it for me.
So let me try to find something that can really inspire fear and get papers read...

Poodle Plague Sweeps Madagascar









Not quite...

Goldfish Gangrene Devestates Iceland


Still not there...

Cow Cramps Cripple Croatia


eh... that's been tried with mad cow...

Shark Syphilis Ravages 4 in Cheboygan


Yep, that would do it.