WHOOOO--HOOOOOO....

Global Warming fight in previous post. Scott will be so happy.
Sigh. Let's get it on :)

It's Been Soooooo Long

So much to catch up on but let's start with all that needs to be said about Global Warming....
1) Nancy Pelosi has "seen" it in Greenland. [I hope this is just a political move. Because if she is actually believing this God help us all!]
2) Where she flew in her private jet and helicopter.
3) And the Greenlanders say they love it because it's been good for buisness.
4) Oh and there's the teen I work with who gets nervous with summer coming because they don't know how hot it might get. Yeah, I felt that way about nuclear war as a teen. EXCEPT THAT WAS A REAL POSSIBILITY!!!!!!

We have become complete idiots! I just can't take it any longer. I hope it's true and happens fast.

Spidey 3 Review

No need to write my own. I actually believe this review EXACTLY represents my thoughts. Who would have thunk?
Sorry been to busy to blog lately. Try to get back to regular soon.

Time Waster Tuesday

Ode to Canadian Pop.

FULL FRONTAL NUDITY!

No, I'm not talking about Bart Simpson in the upcoming movie. By the title you know this is a sports blog.

Well, Ben"idict Arnold" Wallace and his Chicago Bulls pulverize and sweep the Miami Heat. Now, the moment I've been waiting for, the Pistons vs. their old All-Star. Pistons vs. Bulls. I pray for a sweep but I'm saying Pistons in 5. I think Miami played absolutely no defense and made the Bulls offense look good. It won't happen this time.

Detroit Lions news. Let's get it out of the way... "What a great draft, they're going to the Superbowl... blah, blah, blah." My prediction? The Lions will make their new WR look bad and he'll be riding the bench somewhere in 3 years. Lions win 5 games this season. A marked improvement.

Well, that's all sports fans.

Oops...

Internet problems today so no involved blog...

Going to see NEXT tomorrow.
Lions draft day... how will they blow it this year?

Thinking Thursday?

• I thought the Idol charity event last night was one of the most sincere shows of its type I've seen. It's the first time I've seen the conditions in the third world portrayed accurately and brutally honestly. The plight of children in Africa (and around the world) is just heartbreaking.
• Always find it ironic when Madonna, the author of "Sex", is seen asking for help to stop AIDS.
• Always tough trying to answer the "Why does God let that happen?" question from kids. I know the answer lies in free will and our choice to mess things up. I know if parents were responsible, governments were sincerely interested in their people, and people would get involved we wouldn't have the problems. I know all the resources needed to stop the tragedies are available if people would give and if they could get where they were needed. I know that suffering here isn't the worst thing that can happen to a person I know you could dump a trillion dollars on Africa and you'd still have the same problems. I know my gut reaction is that no matter what I know it still sucks.
• Have you seen the video of George Bush dancing with the African band? I'm not sure what to think. Either, "It so good to see a President not take himself to seriously" or "My gosh this is the most powerful man in the world". But mainly I think, "I just hope he's not having sex (or whatever he'd call it) with interns."
• I had to dance some of the tribal stuff while in Africa. George W. makes me look like John Travolta.
• Rosie's leaving the View. Blogs around the world are mourning.
• Toyota is now the #1 automaker in the world. The good American car maker reply? "Its only for one month." I can't wait for the, "It's only been 20 years", comment.
• John Mcain is now running for President. Look, the guy knows what it's like to be torutured, why's he want to do this to us?
• It seems the Al Gore pushed Carbon Offset industry is a fraud. Shocker.
• A new planet was found 5 billion miles away. Scientist say is might have life! Yeah, and for all we would be able to tell it may have a Wal-mart too.

Well, that's enough almost thinking for this week.

Idol Talk

Well, Lakisha has finally worn out her welcome. She's just not likable and this is the second week in a row she's sung and ex-idol's "theme" song. Dang, KiKi, Fantasia just did that one on the same show less than a year ago and you're no Fantasia! (I just realized that's probably the gayest sentence I've ever writtern.) Your only hope is that Phil continues to refuse to grow hair and stays looking like an internet predator.

Best part of the show? Simon, while touring a food bank, shows actual surprise in meeting "nice" people and discovering that people outside the coasts actually help people. You mean Idol hosting a telethon isn't the only organization helping others in America? And those helping aren't paid! Wow! Stunner. That's what happens when the only Americans you talk to appear on television or movies.

Worst part? The whole "tragedy of the starving poor Americans" thing. Honestly, other than those who are mentally or physically unable to operate in our country we don't have anyone "starving" or "poor" when compared to the best off third world country. People need to get out of the American bubble and that doesn't mean taking a cruise to northern Honduras or backpacking in Europe.

Time Waster Tuesday

I'm a sucker for cowboy games.

Can't Pass It Up

Alec Baldwin's Top Ten Pre-Teen Girl Esteem Building Phrases:

10. You don't have the brains or the decency of a human being.

9. I wish you weren't mine.

8. I'm pretty sure you'll never date.

7. You're friends are so much cuter than you.

6. With your complexion maybe we should start considering make-up.

5. Maybe you should start wearing things that are a little more revealing, it may be your only hope.

4. My Hollywood friends think you're a loser.

3. I can't believe the court makes me spend time with you.

2. You're a thoughtless little pig.

1. Are you putting on weight?

If you haven't heard the story try guessing which of the above two he actually said!

Thank you Alec for making me feel like a better father.

Thinking Thursday?

A few shallow thoughts on the serious and trivial issues of the day...

• Does anyone else find it sad that a pro-life victory is now defined as stopping some babies from having their brains sucked out when they are half-way out of the womb?
• Does anyone else find it sad that the same thing is considered a national tradgedy to the pro-abortion side?
• The length and scope of a violent gun crime is directly proportional to the amount of time another gun can be brought to bear. The difference between the mall shooter a few months back and the Virginia Tech massacre.
• Good news now consist of the temperature rising to about 35 at the end of April and Sanjaya getting voted off American Idol.
• We're getting a good response at www.universaloffsets.blogspot.com
• Should NBC have aired the killers manifesto stuff? I'm just not sure. I'm afraid it will inspire more madness but we also need to be informed.
• What was with the memorial service at VT? It was like a parade of religions none of which offered hope or a reason to value life and hold contradictory views (Muslim: Eh, who knows why it happens. Praise Allah! Buddist: Well, now their suffering is ended and they can start again. Not so bad. Liberal Judaism: We need to love each other and get some gun control.) Yeah, no clue how a guy could feel hopeless, confused, treat life so indifferently, and go crazy on that campus. My favorite comment by someone on it: "What was it UN day at VT?"
• Who's to blame? There's alot to go around. Parents? Rudderless society? Political Correctness? School putting rep over safety? The media culture of violence? The one who we know for sure is to blame is the shooter.
• Finally, boy my predicitons for Idol have been off. Chris not even in the bottom 3 and Sanjaya gone? Oh, and LOST... quite possibly the best series of all time.

Idol Talk

One word for last night... awkward.

Last night should have been subtitled: "An Attempt at a Very Special American Idol".
From the minute Seacrest expressed sympathy for the VT famlies to Phil saying, "Country is my genre." It just was awkward.
Then there was Chris giving an awkward shout out to VT and then explaining to Simon that "nasally is a style." Yeah, a bad style of singing. Goodbye Chris.
Sanjaya trying to look like Bruce Springsteen... awkward.
KiKi trying to go country... awkward.
Paula seemingly sober... awkward.
Melinda coming out and doing so much better than everyone else... awkward. Just announce her as the winner.
Finally, after the judges shred Chris, and he follows up with "nasally is a style", then you can see him think, "This isn't working so..." "Hey, I'm really feeling bad for VT." To which Simon is caught... ROLLING HIS EYES!!!! Classic and... awkward.
But the worst thing of the night is after the commercial break Simon comes on and looks like someone is holding a gun to his head as he reads a teleprompter, "Oh, hey and the 3 of us judges would also like to say, uh, VT we feel sad. Real, real, sad. Really. Please forget I rolled my eyes."

Prediciton: Chris is so gone.

Time Waster Tuesday

Look at these signs I spotted recently!

Actually go make your own. Special prize to whoever replies with the funniest one.

Outrage!

Spider-Man 3 is having it's global debut in... JAPAN!?!?!?! Spidey is Americana personified! Marvel is once again sticking it to thier core fans! Those masked ho's! (Can I say that?)
But on the good side... I'll be able to watch it bootlegged online a week early.

Quite Possibly the Most Humanitarian Website Ever

I have discovered quite possibly the most humanitarian website of all time. Something that may have the potential to change the world. If Enviormental offsets are being hailed as the savior of the world then Universal Offsets has got to be the supersavior!
And being the responsible person I am I have managed to get a special offer for all you TICS readers. Mention this blog and all offset from Universal Offsets will only be $5! That's quite a deal for making the world a better place with the least amount of effort.
Do your part today!

Thinking Thusday?

At the risk of this becoming a regluar serious day I've been reading some stuff by creationist and computer scientist Werner Gitt recently and found this interesting (I'm not sure what I think of his theories as a whole yet):

"Whilts information may be stored on matter and transferred by means of physical systems, it in no way originates in purely material processes, but always through an ideas-giver, that is, through employment of intelligence and will. In the materialistic theories this fact is ignored, because information is assumed to be a purely physical phenonmenon."

Hmmm....

Anyhoo... tomorrow we'll definitely be back to our regularly scheduled stupidity.

Update: Looks like some "experts and athourities" are backing off some claims. How long are we going to keep listening to the "experts"?

Idol Talk

I hate to say it but... SANJAYA?!?!?! HOLY CRAP!!?!?! IT WAS GOOD!?!?!?!?

Who's out?
Either, Phil or Haley. I'm going with Phil because Haley found a way to take off more clothes (the only thing missing in her performance was a stripper pole) and should could go one more week before the the FCC steps in and gets rid of the straight haired 'Ho (will I get kicked off my blog for saying that?)

Time Waster Tuesday

Used to love this game...
You Don't Know Jack

Polar Bear Prayers

It seems as if global warming is over and thePolar Bears can rest easy. We had snow on Easter and none for Christmas and it's record colds all around the country including snow in Dallas and Tulsa! It seems Al Gore has been so effective we have actually reversed global warming too much!

Now, is there anyone out there who thinks that if we had had 70 degree temps in Michigan in December that we wouldn't have seen anything but global warming stories everywhere? So where are the stories of global cooling? The global science crowd is driven by annecdotal evidence. How much more annecdotal can you get than this last weeks weather?

Personally, I just think my science teacher was correct and the ice age predicited in the 80's is finally arriving. But, I have a solution.

Global cooling offsets.

Send me $10 for every degree lower than normal your temperature is and another $10 for every inch of snow you've had. In return you can keep driving your hybrid and I will drive my truck and extra 10 miles to do your part in keeping our climate from freezing. Please, do your part to save the Texas Prairie Dogs, because as you can see from the picture they are really in trouble. No really, that picture was taken in Dallas yesterday.

Shhh... don't tell anyone but it seems ALL scientist don't agree on on global warming? I thought it was a fact? Come on the sceintific community wouldn't lie would it?

It's not Rage. It's UPS rage.

Have you seen those UPS Whiteboard commercials? For some reason I want to hurt people after watching those things. I have no idea why. Maybe there's something subliminal there.